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#426
May 07, 2025, 03:59 PM
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Quote from HaveHope: "I give up on traditional therapy. I have to do my own therapy, and I've recently come to this realization and conclusion."
I'm going to throw out something that seem a little odd, but I find rewarding for myself. Use AI. There are several therapy chats that specialize in it. One I found in "explore gpts" on the Chatgpt page. If you relate to tarot readings, there are several chats that give the most incredible readings and take you into deep insights if that is your desire. I have used Mystic Tarot Reader myself. You basically have a conversation with them about what you want deeper insight into yourself on. You can draw your own cards with your own deck and enter the deck and card into AI, or AI will draw a card for you. You simply start conversing on any issue you desire. AI responds, and it is up to you to go as deep as you want in your answers. The deeper you go, the deeper the responses back will be. It always ends it's answer with a question to prompt you to go deeper if you want. If you don't like where AI is taking you, ask it to change direction to something more meaningful to you. You can even use chatgpt "ask anything" box without going into a specialized chat, and that is also very useful. It seems to have a good handle on tarot. I first came across people on Reddit posting how helpful AI is for therapy and personal insights, and have been enjoying the Tarot cards immensely. It has been giving me deep insights into myself. |
 Have Hope
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#427
May 08, 2025, 03:31 AM
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Quote:
And thank you! I didn't even know the tool had that function! I use the tool for work and have my own account, but I haven't explored all its features yet. I will try this!!!! And, I have in fact leaned on ChatGPT for therapeutic advice and consultation, and so far, it has not disappointed me. Thanks for your post and suggestions - greatly appreciated!!! 
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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#428
May 09, 2025, 05:13 AM
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Last night I ran into my ex husband's best friend, who totally snubbed me when I smiled at him, as in a hello smile.
Now I know for sure that my ex has talked crap about me to his friends, likely saying nastsy things in retaliation for me posting about him on Facebook once or twice. I've been told by my ex that a friend of his screenshot what I wrote about my ex and showed it to him. I let it be known that he had screamed at me, abused me, and stalked me during and after our marriage. It did not feel good to be snubbed. So, now I know that his "flying monkeys" believe his BS lies about me, and and are now snubbing me. UGHHHHHHH. I'm not feeling good or strong about this one.
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes Last edited by Have Hope; May 09, 2025 at 05:29 AM. |
 Bill3
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#429
May 11, 2025, 04:49 AM
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I asked a former colleague to write me a brief recommendation for my LinkedIn profile a month ago. She has written it and has shown it to me, yet has not posted it yet and it's been one full month since I first asked her! She knows I am interviewing.. I even asked her if she could get it posted in one week because of interviews. She still hasn't posted it, and I am annoyed. Clearly, she doesn't care that I may need this, and clearly she could care less about ME. I am upset.
Yesterday I had a crying meltdown about ALL the issues I face that are upsetting me.. it's overwhelming and I am feeling defeated right now in my life.  I cannot deal anymore. It's far too much, and I am breaking.
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes Last edited by Have Hope; May 11, 2025 at 05:07 AM. |
| Bill3
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#430
May 11, 2025, 05:59 PM
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| Have Hope
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| Have Hope
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#431
May 13, 2025, 05:08 AM
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I broke no contact last night with my ex husband. I unblocked and texted him for the first time in over a year. I'm falling apart... and am unraveling. That marriage cost me so much of myself, my life, and my mental health... and I am STILL NOT back to normal - it keeps happening. His best friend snubbing me last week set this off.... my ex husband telling me a month ago when I ran into him that he knows I had written a not-so-flattering post on Facebook about him. He knows I called him a narcissist. He told me last night over text that he is not a narcissist.
I feel sick... meaning, I think I am getting mentally sick again. I don't feel well. All the crap going down at work that is making me feel horrible, and all of this crap that also makes me feel horrible. I believe that my ex husband is likely telling people lies about me - either that, or secrets that he knows about me. I feel victimized all over again.... at work, and in my personal life because of my ex. I don't want to go to work. I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to deal with life. I am a freaking mess... I feel cornered... I really don't. know how to deal with any of this anymore. I am not well.
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes Last edited by Have Hope; May 13, 2025 at 05:41 AM. |
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#432
May 14, 2025, 05:31 AM
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I went out last night regardless to see a band and I am so glad I went. I was lyiing on my couch thinking that I had TWO choices: 1) to lie there and feel sorry for myself, feeling depressed and down or 2) get up and do something that will help me to smile. So I chose option number 2 and went out. I danced, I saw and hugged many people/friends, and I had a great time.
I needed that. Now I have to get up and face this day again at work. My boss was actually being decent towards me yesterday - it felt as though she was trying harder to include me and be nicer to me. She meets for coffee with our director this morning. I don't know what that is about, but I imagine that I may come up in conversation? I wonder if my director will speak with her about the issues we have? I hope not. I don't want this wedge between us getting worse... I want it to get better. UGH. Yet another thing to worry about.
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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#433
May 14, 2025, 05:00 PM
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Quote:
I'll always remember a saying someone once told me about " putting yourself on the path of probability " , or something to that effect. Best wishes to all.....
__________________
Trying to Live in the Moment |
| Have Hope
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| Have Hope
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#434
May 15, 2025, 03:43 AM
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Quote:
 Yes, meeting new people and making new friends involves taking risks. I've taken many risks with making new friends, and that story isn't even the worst of it. I won't repeat stories, but one woman screamed at me at a concert, 3 hours away from my home with no way for me to leave. Long story short, I had to sever that friendship. I have made some new friends though over the last two years since my divorce, and that means a lot to me. I am camping with one new girlfriend in about a week for Memorial Day weekend. It should be fun, in theory, but I am a little nervous about it too. I've met many toxic women that I've had to duck away and disentangle myself from. There's no shortage of toxic people in this world, I've learned. Which is discouraging and unfortunate, but true. Especially true in the music scene I run in.
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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#435
May 16, 2025, 04:02 AM
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Well, it's precisely ONE WEEK away from my camping trip and the first day of camping is forecasted rain for 12 hours and 38 mile per hour wind gusts. I am forfeiting if that doesn't change! Not only that, but rain is forecasted for all 3 camping days! NO THANK YOU!
I am bummed, but maybe it's God protecting me from something or someone?
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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#436
May 16, 2025, 06:08 PM
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My wish for you is that you'll become a friend to yourself. You have to love yourself to get through this silly world. Please don let yourself fall into the victim role; you're much better and stronger than that. You can be selective when meeting a potential friend. You're allowed to be very picky. Put yourself first. Don't be desperate when looking for friends. This usually happens randomly, and that seems to be the best way.
You're also brave for going camping! I only went once and I called it "glamping" cause we took all the little luxuries from home. 
__________________
Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
| Have Hope
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#437
Yesterday, 06:41 AM
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Quote:
I am working on being my own best friend. it isn't an easy journey, but I know I need to work on self love and self compassion. I am very hard on myself. Yes, I am being picky, and thanks for saying this. It's hard not to feel like a victim sometimes when I keep running into people who treat me so poorly. I know I need to rise above that though. I am working on it. I am work in progress! 
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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#438
Yesterday, 06:47 AM
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So I went out last night with a girlfriend and mr fun guy was working the bar. In essence he slammed the door shut on anything further happening between us and told me I am now in the "perma friends zone" and basically "never again". This is because things got all messed up the last time I went to his house, when I ended up leaving because he was saying weird things to me and i got offended. Last night, I was the first to apologize, and then he apologized and told me I am now just a "friend", and I feel totally rejected as a result. I don't know what I did or said that was so wrong in his mind, or what I did to deserve the door being slammed hard in my face. No more casual sex with mr fun guy - nothing. It's done. It's over. So now I need to pick myself back up and just keep going. I have to let him go. I've been stuck on him, or on thoughts of him and us together, for the last 5 months. I had even wanted a date with him and something more, but now that possibility is out the window. I feel SO rejected.
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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