[bflatgary]

My sister sent this to me. It hits home in our family because my stepmother suffers from Alzheimer's. Dad visits her every day. Although her condition is deteriorating, she still remembers us.

**************

How to Dance In the Rain

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him, “And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?”

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.' I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. With all the jokes and fun that is in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This one I thought I could share with you. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have. I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did.

[Perna]

Great reminder!

I got the goose bumps ..........

[DePressMe]

Thanks for sharing....that is very touching.

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks for sharing!

[nothemama8]

wonderful story, and after 33 years hubby and I have this kind of relationship , besides if he ever forgets me I'll bop him on the head hahahahaha

[AAAAA]

Thanks for sharing, sometimes I get caught up with the daily activities and forget the important things.

[nowheretorun]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. With all the jokes and fun that is in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This one I thought I could share with you. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have. I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

thank you bflatgary...

That was beautiful bflatgary:

It helps to put life in a better perspective. We too often look at teh negatives on us instead of the positives we can give to others.

[eskielover]

Gary,

This love is so beautiful....the kind of love a marriage should be surrounded with &amp; grow into.....what a blessing to have &amp; to receive that kind of love.......as we were talking about in bible class yesterday....the agape love.....the unconditional love.

Thank you for sharing this beautiful reminder of what LOVE is all about,
Debbie

[tsha]

That was beautiful and give me a different perspective to consider.
Thanks

[bflatgary]

Debbie,

My sister sent that story to me. It hits home with us, since my stepmother is in an Alzheimer's facility, and my dad, having difficulties of his own, still gets over to see her daily. Her memory isn't as bad as the lady in the story. She knows Dad, she knows her kids, she knows me. He goes over there after he has lunch, and sits with her. If it is her lunchtime, he will feed her, since she is no longer capable of doing that.

My dad lives in an assisted living facility that is attached to her facility. It is a three minute walk from his room to hers.

I visited Dad for about 1/2 hour this morning. He was in good spirits, but stressed by the slow deterioration of his wife of 45 years. I wish I had taken a copy of this story to show him.

Gary

[eskielover]

My Grandmother (my Mother's mother) had alzheimers for years & was a violent alzheimers patient. When she first started showing signs of something being wrong with her, she was beating my Grandfather up with her cane as she was sure he was a robber that was breaking into the home. No one knew what was going on for quite some time as he was afraid to say anything & she wouldn't let him get on the phone to talk.

Finally little bits of what was going on came out, but neither my Mother nor Grandfather knew what to do about the situation. I was the one that had to force the issue & get her put into a care facility. It seemed at that time that it was almost impossible to find someone willing to determine a diminished mental capacity to the point they needed to be put into a care facility. My Mom & Grandpa were afraid that she was going to be locked up in a mental institution & the key thrown away. I had to make sure that she would get good quality care, while making sure my Grandpa knew it was for her own good & for his safety also.

At that time, My Grandpa at the age of 80+ was able to live in an assisted living apartment & daily would drive there to see her....until his car was stolen out of the church parking lot one Sunday morning. He still tried his hardest to see her daily...either walking or someone driving him. Soon after that, his health got to the point where he needed to move into the same care facility as my Grandma. Again, he was able to be with her daily...sit there & hold her hand (when she would allow him), or feed her lunch or dinner......until he died at the age of 96.

Amazingly, when she was told that he had died, a tear came into her eye. Most of the time, she didn't know any of us & even my Grandpa, so to have a tear in her eye when she was told he had died was shocking. I guess that the underlying love & emotional tie of the 75+ years of marriage wasn't completely stripped away by the alzheimers.

It is amazing how people dance in the rain when they are filled with love.
Debbie

"The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have."

That is so true but i know speaking for myself here that i tend to forget that and foccus on everything i dont have..

[bflatgary]

Your grandfather's situation was similar to my dad's. They both moved into assisted care about two years ago. Last fall, Doris' condition had deteriorated enough that the assisted care facility where they lived could no longer care for her. They found a place for her in Los Alamitos. The Alzheimer's care unit is part of a larger facility which includes a more basic assisted living facility. This worked out nicely, ad Dad is very nearby, and they are about a 5 minute drive from Doris' daughter. And Dad can walk to see Doris in about 3 minutes.

[mrb020377]

WOW !!!!! gave me goose bumps!!!!! thanks for sharing

[BlueFaith]

What a touching story. It makes one stop and realize what they really have been blessed with. Thank you for sharing.

[mandazzle]

Aww thanks for this.
My grandma passed from Alzheimer's. We would visit her, and when she started getting bad she didn't know who we were, but she knew we were the nice people that came to take care of her every day.