sooo frusterated and so sad

I feel so frustrated right now.

I feel that my soul is being attacked by my emotions. I've been feeling selfish and egoistic lately.

I don't know where else to go to. I feel that I can't express my emotions and feelings without being called crazy, to be slapped with a diagnoses and to be given medications for expressing human emotions.

I was on a pro psychiatry group to tell my story and was called a Scientologist simply because I didn't agree to the treatment that my psychiatrists gave me, including my forced treatment inside the hospital.

I loss my night chat buddy, my mother on 2004 and its hard not having to talk to her in the late hours. I feel anguish because I believe I drove her to drug overdose.

On my mother's 5th year of her death, which was on the 24 of this month, nobody took the time to either email or called me to see if I was alright, even my two aunts and my mothers beast friend. I feel that I'm transparent and that nobody could see me. It's hard being a lone in this universe.

I don't need antidepressants to hide my emotions, I don't want to cope with my feelings, I want to recover but unfortunately that cant happen alone.

How about seeing a psychologist instead of a psychiatrist....the focus wouldn't be on medicine.....maybe get involved in activities that you enjoy, and you will meet people, I can tell you are a special person just by how you write, and I'm sorry you've had so much loss without concern for others, you may be right, it's just human emotion, that needs to be expressed, not medicated.......