Can't sleep

I told my husband that he broke my window. My window of oppurtunity for staying asleep by being up and retless and touching me and making noise and waking me a million times. Now I can't sleep. Have taken all of the drugs I dare. The cancer kid is very ill, bleeding in her stomach. She was cauterized but it didn't hold. The chemo seems to be helping the tumors. She is in pain. I am far away. My t is away for a few weeks and cancelled our last appoint as she was ill. I feel like she is one of the only places where I can deal with the enormity and complexity of what's happening there. Just whining. Hope all else are alive and kicking. Just don't kick me okay?

wisewoman, I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you much lately. But I have been keeping you in my prayers.

I know you've got an awful lot to deal with right now, but remember that I still have faith in you, ok?

*big hugs*
Jo

P.S. Did your T leave you a number of a crisis line, or anyone else you could call if you need help while she is away?

<font color=green> If she spins fast enough then maybe the broken pieces of her heart will stay together, but even a gyroscope can't spin forever</font color=green>

Wisewoman,
I would not dream of kicking you. You are too sweet. I am so sorry that things are tough right now.

Stay strong,
Jessica

"Take these chances. Place them in a box until a quieter time..." ~DMB

((((wisewoman)))))

I had a hard time falling asleep last night, didn't sleep until after 2:30am..

<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

to everyone, no T did not leave info for crisis except an objectionable woman in private practice whom I believe to be a quack. EEKS Shouldn't talk like that huh? I finally slept and went into work late and was paged my my super that the state is doing their promised audit of me. Long story but it's like looking at my work via a microscope. So I am anxious. Had a good trip onto another town where I rarely go for work. Mountain town, so beautiful and clear today. Used to work up there way back when but now I am a valley girl. I am trying to go bit by bit here. Thanks for the support.

Wish I'd known this before. I didn't sleep until I saw the light of day and woke up at 8:30 am. Couldn't have gotten more than 3 - 31/2 hours sleep. (YAAWWN!) We could have chatted all night... like a pretend slumber party. LOL My sleep pattern is way off since Jerry left. Feel like I could really use a nap right now but if I take one, I sure won't sleep tonight... again!




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

I know that feeling. Try to exhaust your mind before bed. Hard puzzle? I am hoping for a better night for both of us.

Dang it! I fell asleep after all! I don't do puzzles. At least I don't have any around, anyway. Maybe read a self-help book that I know won't sink in anyway? LOL I've noticed that I'm back on the "it's the end of my life" kick again. NO! Not suicidal thoughts! YIKES! It's just that I'm OLD! It's all downhill from here... Maybe it's just some Depression speaking. Not sure... There's stuff around here that I could be doing. It will be hard to do them from a sitting position, but I could do it. It might even feel good to get tired, but I just can't work up the energy or the interest. I just sit around and wish I would do it. LOL Maybe that self-help book might help. It's called "The Power of Intention." LOL Ironic, huh? And here, I always thought the road to Hell was paved with good intentions!

Ok... I've rambled enough. Maybe I should go start that book.





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

With me, I need some physical exercise to help me sleep. My mind is already too busy. Once, I couldn't sleep ALL night. I got up and took a walk in the morning, and finally slept til about noon. I use mental energy too much and not enough physical. I joined CURVES today. Yay~!