My mother.. again... this time though it is the last straw.

She went out to an event at our local legion tonight. As I lent her ten dollars, I thought she wouldn't have drank too much since she was going to be there for like five hours.

Well she dropped by afterward, and when she came in she was going on about what a great time she had, and all the people she saw, ect. She sounded pretty excited about the whole event... I never even thought that she was so wound up for a reason..

Anyways, she picked the baby up, and sat in the rocking chair with him. His head was bobbing all around because she wasn't supporting it properly.. so I kind of told her to be more careful.. i probably sounded a little irritated when I said it, but .. HES A BABY FOR KRYPTONS SAKE BE CAREFUL!!

Anyways, time went on, and she keeps losing his soother because the baby keeps spitting it out...and each time he loses it he screams.

Anyways, then she ALMOST loses her grip on him while reaching for it, and I start getting suspicious as to why she is acting so weird with him.

Then, I took the baby back. And tried to fix the sheets on my bed while holding him. As I am doing this I obviously was struggling with the sheets and him. She had the nerve to sit there and laugh at me. No offer to help, No offer to take him and put him in his swing.. just laughed at me for struggling.

Then she announces some stupid comment referencing HOW MUCH SHE SPENT ON BOOZE AND HOW DRUNK SHE IS!!!!

OMG!!! And she held the BABY?!?! WHAT IF SHE HAD DROPPED HIM?? Talk about PISSED OFF.

At this point I told her she could go the hell home.

Then she bit back with "arent you going to call me when I get over there?" (she lives twenty feet away) and i told her she could call me. Then she said something to the effect of the fact that if she didnt call I would know what happened, and it was icy and snowy( for the record, its mostly melted here...)and she could slip and fall and die and then slammed the door.

Now the baby is cranky, and I cant get him to sleep and he hasnt been right since she was here.

On top of that I am pretty sure he has infant reflux, as hes been spitting up alot and scrunching him self up and screaming after eating.

Argh.

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((((((( bowzz )))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm so so very sorry about your mother...no excuses and I'm so you're going to have to be VERY watchful.

Regarding the reflux, my youngest grandboy has this AND a milk allergy that showed about your little man's age, so you might want to talk to dr. about it. Daughter didn't have little Ethan's dx'ed until about eight weeks and it was so hard for them both.

Sweetheart, PM if you want or need. I'll be here for you. I'm just so sorry. MOST IMPORTANTLY I want you to know you're cared about, honey, and you're not alone. YOU HAVE A GREAT BIG FAMILY HERE FOR YOU.

Much love,

KD

[jbug]

(((((((((((U)))))))))))))))

I can't imagine what you are going through. I wish I knew what to say so I am going to send you hugs.

Jbug

((((KD))))

Yep, I am not taking ANY chances with her now as she has proven herself to be irresponsible with him. I had been having suspicions about her someday babysitting but this proves it will NOT be happening any time soon.

On the reflux, yes, I do plan to take him in to see the doc on monday. I know hes not entirely comfortable right now. He also almost ALWAYS wants to nurse, and Ive read that this can be a sign too since breast milk is a natural antacid. And I have had GERD for years so maybe it is hereditary too.

((((((Jbug)))))

Thanks so much for your thoughts.

wow i am sorry your mom was so stupid! thats just crazy she would even hold the baby knowing she was drunk..

[kimmydawn]

Sweetheart,

Daughter went thru the SAME EXACT THING. She kept thinking it would get better and didn't. She felt like a failure due to postpartum.

He had GER and milk allergy...starting even having blood in spit up. He was fine, of course, just needed some meds for the GER, some milacon drops and a soy-based formula.

Just remember, 30% of babies that have a milk allergy will also end up being allergic to soy, so keep that in mind if it goes in that direction.

We're now seeing if Ethan actually has the soy allergy. Though he's improved, it seems he might be ramping in the same direction again.

I'm so sorry your mom blew you away tonight...so sorry.

Love,

KD

[wisewoman]

I am sorry about your mother. She is very irresponsible. It's like a drunk thinking they are fine to drive a car. As for the reflux, the main culprit in babies digestive issues is dairy. I would knock off all dairy for a week and see if he improves. Secondly with me it was peanuts and tomatoes. Of course spices sometimes don't agree as well. I was on a very bland diet for long time for this reason. Try it and see what happens. LeLeche has a bunch of books you can try to get at the library. I liked the motherly art of Breastfeeding. Is he in a sitting up swing already? Wow, it used to be only for babies over three months. I had one with my second that was a bassinet basket that rocked like a cradle. We would crank it up and she would fall asleep. My husband would carry the bassinet part up when we went to bed and she would wake by 12:00 and you know the rest. Warm memories.

Many docs do not know much about breastfeeding so do your own research regarding the reflux. Oh yeah, there is a school of thought about soothers with young babies. The thought is that they are sucking because they are hungry. Supply and demand thing here. Just go with your gut. Good luck.

[Christina86]

(((((((((((((Rainbowzz)))))))))))))))

Oh wow, I am so sorry your mother was that irresponsible. Sorry about the baby too... hope he feels better soon.

[kimmydawn]

WW is right, Rainbowzz...if he is getting colicky, cutting out your dairy may improve his responses.

there's really good google information on colic (IF that's the case), but going to dr. will help you narrow that down possibly.

KD

wisewoman,

Thanks for the great information. I TOTALLY spaced on the dairy thing - I will try that!

Thankfully I am not a spicy eater anyways so that is not a problem.

The swing I have has a convertible seat, so you can make it for a newborn or an older child. Its second hand but in great shape, so it can work. And yes it does put him to sleep or keep him safe if i need potty or something of that nature. Lately though with the tummy troubles it doesnt work and he just wants me.

Yeah, I thought it might be because he is hungry too - but then I had two other thoughts.

The first thought was that I would try and feed him smaller amounts more often, because it often seemed like when he ate too much it aggravated the spitting up and scrunching.

The second thing I noticed was that when he was done eating, it seemed like he just still wanted to suck because he would seem to get frustrated at the boob with the milk still coming out and would spit out my.. er, nipple , but then he would settle right down to the paci. On the flip side of this, if I give him the paci and hes hungry, he wont take it at all and just hollers until I give him the right thing. Is it possible for him to know so much already? maybe I have a superbaby

I did post on the LLL boards about this too, havent gotten much back but it was just a short while ago.

thanks KD and Christina

[kimmydawn]

Another thing to try is to lay him on a firm surface (chest, floor, changing table) and rub his back just a bit into the muscle, but not too firm.

This will be soothing but also causes him to "straighten" and helps to release/move any air...relieving cramps, etc.

Please let us know what the dr. says.

KD

[wisewoman]

You are so smart. I mean that sincerely and as a compliment. I did not of course have internet so it was books and friends for me. Keep reading and talking, you are a good mama. Oh, by the way, I am often pissed and am working on being more peaceful. Just thought I would tell you.

[Bethsway]

so sorry about your mom...and I think you will fell alot better after bringing the baby to the doc's...maybe the doctor can narrow it down...hope your baby feels better soon!!

[youOme]

OOh, poor baby...are you still nursing? It might be something you're eating that's upsetting him. Breastfed babies are gassy alot and if there's alot of air in their bellies they will spit up and be very cranky. I used to put my hand under my babies neck, head and under his butt and do little baby crunches to work out the air...ya know. Baby farts. Breast babies fart all the time...just to let you know.

Anyway, watch your food intake and test a bit to see if maybe it's something your consuming.

Sorry about your Mom, I've told you before that your Mom and my Mom are the same....crazy people. Just remember to set your boundaries. I couldn't imagine living that close to my Mom, I'd go lopey.

i hope that doctor says he is okay