[lenjan]

Wasn't sure where to post this, as it crosses many forums.

Ask any of my IRL friends -- I stink when it comes to speaking up for myself. Those who only know me here might find that hard to believe , but even when I do so here, I still get the queasy tummy and the intense self-doubt for having done so. I grew up in a loud and violent home and have always been more comfortable with the "go along to get along, keep the peace" thing than with stating my wishes and desires, even when it comes to something as simple as "where do you want to go for dinner?" Even if I have a strong preference, I will defer to the other person.

anyway -- our nightside reporter (works 2-11 pm Sun-Thurs) is leaving. The big boss invited internal applications -- so I put one in.

I had a number of good reasons, including that I am more naturally a night owl and it would fit better with my body clock, that it would keep me busier than I currently am, and that it would free me from being required to live in this itsy-bitsy town (I could move to what passes for "the city" here). Not to mention, it would get me away from my jerkwad officemate.

But now I'm feeling icky and unsure of myself and I could use a little reassurance that I haven't just done something really, really dumb.

Candy

[SweetSunshine]

Candy
I think its great you did that!! It shows you want more for you!! And that is not a bad thing. Just shows that your ready to move on to bigger and better things . I for one am proud of you for that!!! And I am very happy for you too!! You go girl!!!

Hugz
Bethy

[Perna]

Who knows? If it's just you, why would you be an idiot to want to move up/improve your living conditions? If you get the job, you can give all the other reasons to your jerkwad office mates and tell them how you'll miss them horribly :-)

[lenjan]

((((((((Bethy))))))) Thank you, I needed that.

Perna, it's just scary for me to put myself out there like that, even if it will improve things for me. Deep down, there's probably some "I don't deserve better" going on, as well as an epic fear of failure. I am going to feel like a total reject if they say no.

And it's only one officemate, and I could tell you stories for days -- or you could search my posts here, my PC family hears about him a fair bit.

[lenjan]

ANNNNNNNND, I just got the email saying "we'll talk about it at some point, but we're advertising the position."

One word: FAIL.

[Perna]

You haven't failed yet, I don't think. It's often very hard to get someone from outside that can do a competent job. However, they may/probably have a hidden agenda too, that isn't about you Candy! They probably want a guy for a night job, etc. You have an opportunity to grow on them. Do you have an inbetween boss that you like and who likes you who can go to bat for you in the meantime?

((((((((candy)))))))))))))

i bet you will get the job because youre just awesome like that.

go eat some tastykakes!

[lenjan]

There are more cows than people here. There's been one murder in the 16 months I've been here. It's not a crime haven by any means. I don't even lock my front door at night. Petty drug crimes (misdemeanor marijuana possession, etc) is about the extent of it, so that's not an issue for hiring a guy. But you're probably right, they have an agenda they just aren't mentioning.

My inbetween boss likes me (for the most part) and I like him, but I don't know how he's going to feel about needing to restaff here so soon, or if he even thinks I'm ready to try something else. I have outstanding cred with the movers-and-shakers in this town and that's hard to let go of, from his standpoint, anyway.

Oh, who knows.

[splitimage]

Candybear,

Good for you for applying. My logic is, it never hurts to try. If it would be a better job for you go for it. And as for their response that they're going to look for external applicants, don't let that get you down. Make sure you get a fair interview, have your resume put together and treat it formally like you would if you were going after a job someplace else. Don't let the brush you off with "we'll discuss it later" pin them down on when the interviews are taking place and what the hiring process will be.

Go for it.

--splitimage

[Perna]

It just seems/feels like a traditionally male job on a newspaper though to me, the night guy. It goes with the night watchman's job I think. One of the last bastions of the old world order where there aren't women picketing to get the job or something.

Did they give any details about when they'd be making decisions and letting people know, etc.? You're right, if you haven't been there all that long, they could just not like it for that reason. I think in any event, it will bring you semi-painlessly to the higher ups' attentions, they'll get the idea that you want up and challenge and "good things" and aren't content to just do your current job. At least that will help you in the larger scheme of things; you won't have to put yourself forward again for a bit, you'll just "be" there automatically because you applied for this job.

[Irine]

If there was a possibility to do som there is nohting wrong with your request
Good luck

Oh dear, I think your absolutely Fabulous

[Christina86]

My dear, you are nothing of the sort - so entirely not an idiot!

((((((((((Candy))))))))))))

You outlined good reasons for deciding to apply for the job, and I *know* you do a good job currently - so I think you've got a very good chance indeed!

Good luck!

[SweetSunshine]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
candybear said:
ANNNNNNNND, I just got the email saying "we'll talk about it at some point, but we're advertising the position."

One word: FAIL.



</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Candy dont you dare give up yet!!! Good things happen to those who wait. I know you've been waiting a long time too. But I believe this will happen for you . Whether its now or down the road a bit. Good Luck Sweetie!!

[inkblot]

Idiot?! You're a BRAIN for doing it! Way to go, girl! You are a sweetheart, Candy--We luv ya! I really hope this works out for you--the best of luck!

[lenjan]

Well, the big boss called this morning while my jerkwad officemate was gone, and asked me to come in tomorrow afternoon to chat about the job. I'm not sure how to read that. But I guess we'll find out!

[Perna]

I'd read it that you have the big boss' notice so win whether you get this particular job or not. Good luck tomorrow!

[AnnieL]

Candybear..I have been a member here for almost a year now. I dont post often, but I check the board daily. I always look for your posts.

You see...what I really love about you, is your outspoken way. I like that in someone, as I struggle to be as open. It surprised me to see this post. I am thinking...Gosh..this woman can do anything she wants. I have watched you overcome much in the last year.

If this new position is something you want...go for it. I hope it happens for you, and that it will please you. You deserve that., and I see no reason for you to doubt yourself. I do relate however. I also have difficulty with these things...and decisions such as where to go for dinner can cause me stress too. Please let us know how this turns out.

[seeker1950]

Candy, hunnybunny! Go for it tomorrow! You are awesome, and so keep this in mind as you go talk about your potential for the new job!
Patty

[wickedwings]

hey, do not doubt your needs. they are truly legitimate. every indivual have needs that must be met. there is absolutely nothing wrong with what you have done - stating what you need... really. it's ok. i know the feeling that you get. i get them, too, sometimes. i just work right through them.

[Timgt5]

Candy, deep inside you believed you could do this or you would not have put in for it, ytou just have to find that place and push forward

you are not foolish, just self doubting

(puts hand on shoulder) I am with you, best of luck

TJ

[lenjan]

Wow.

Let me just say, I am overwhelmed by all the love and support sent my way. I never knew that many people gave a darn or thought so much of me.

((((((((Perna))))))))
((((((((Bethy))))))))))))
(((((((((Court)))))))))))
((((((((splitimage)))))))
((((((((ladymacB)))))))))
((((((((Bowz)))))))))))))
((((((((Christina))))))))
((((((((Inky)))))))))))))
((((((((AnnieL)))))))))))
((((((((Patty))))))))))))
((((((((wickedwings))))))
((((((((Timgt5)))))))))))

[wisewoman]

Annie L, I agree. I love seeing Candybear.

[lenjan]

((((((((WW)))))) you've always been wonderful to me. Thank you.

[wisewoman]

It goes both ways my Dear.