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SeptemberMorn · Mar 05, 2004, 12:40 AM

I’ve learned that I need to take care of myself because no one else will. I need to take responsibility for my own welfare, my own actions, my own state of mind and not depend on others for these things.

I’ve learned that life is a matter of choice. I have the freedom to make my own, well thought out choices; but I also have the freedom to allow my feelings and negative thoughts to control me. I can choose to live or I can choose to merely exist.

I’ve learned that if I’m not part of the solution, then I’m part of the problem.

"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare

heatherm · Mar 05, 2004, 08:18 AM

{{{{{{{{{{Tomi}}}}}}}}}}}

This hits the nail on the head doesn't it. Thank you for reminding us all how we need to take the bull by the horns and just do it. More of "What I've learned..."

I am finding it hard to be on the board here lately.....you guys have been all wonderful to me when I needed you and I hope that I have been able to return the support to you.

However, lately, I am finding it difficult to read some of the posts....I am sure it is just me and all of the changes I have gone through the past couple of weeks (hormones and all More of "What I've learned..."

) but if I am not posting much, please know that I will always think of you and that I care.

It is a fine line with a depression forum that on one side are those that want to get well and the other side are those that don't. I have always been a firm believer in positive thinking and of positive "doing".

I am not directing this to anyone here.....just some of my thoughts ok?

Love you all xoxo

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Heather

Fuzzybear · Mar 05, 2004, 08:54 AM

I agree with you on that, Heather. I was thinking of posting something to that effect myself. Unfortunately, it seems that there are often a few people who seem to want the "attention", but not to work on their issues, on most boards ...

Again, this is not directed at any specific person here. More of "What I've learned..."

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Tomi}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Heather}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Take care,
Fuzzy

SeptemberMorn · Mar 05, 2004, 11:22 AM

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Heather}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} It's not just your homones, Hun. I'm finding it very difficult to read and respond to posts. My patience wears really thin when I read the same old thing day after day. For me, there's no understanding when people make suggestions to help others and it goes completely ignored... not even a response or an acknowledgement of what was said.

Last night I started to do a search of many of the helpful posts that I've read in the time I've been here but quickly changed my mind because it wouldn't be worth my time and effort. Then I remembered that Doc John has many resources that are accessible through the web log and there are also links at the top of the page but those are ignored, too. There are more resources available on the front page. I've seldom, if ever, heard anyone refer to them.

Yes, we all move at our own speed and that's understandable, but no movement is inexcusable to me. And then to get called "immature" by someone that is acting like a child pitching a fit, well... I think it's time to move on.

No, I'm not threatening to "quit" or to leave the site. I'm not trying to get attention for myself. I just need a break and more than anything, to get on with my LIFE.

One other thing that is really disheartening is to see a post from a new person with lots of reads to it but NO responses! That just goes to show where the mentality of the group is... within themselves! "What can I get out of this" mentality; not "what can I give, what I can I say, how can I help."

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Heather}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Greg}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Wendy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Fuzzy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{{{{{{Mary Alice}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Nightdream}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{LMo}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Ozzie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I'll keep in touch. You won't have the opportunity to miss me. LOL

"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare

dexter · Mar 05, 2004, 01:01 PM

Heatherm you are a wonderful personality on this board. We love to see you post but don't feel pressured to post because you feel "obligated" to. I see this place as less of a "barter" system as just a helpful community like a "give a penny, take a penny" jar. We like to give when we can. Some people are in a state of mind to offer and choose to do so. Some people are down and need to come here for that penny of support without the ability to pay it back. As long as everyone does what they can when they can, the community ensures that the pennies keep flowing.

You've been through a lot recently so here's the wish that the pennies from heaven keep raining down on you for as long as you need.

We don't "offer our services", we help each other.

{{{{{{heatherm}}}}}}

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

dexter · Mar 05, 2004, 01:10 PM

I think I mentioned this somewhere else, but I've been on several support boards where the overwhelming content seems to be nothing more than issuing hugs and whining about problems.

Of course hugs are important, and venting is necessary as a part of our healing. But as with everything else it is a matter of balance.

Hopelessness is such an overwhelming problem with our diseases that getting stuck in venting and whining perpetuates the illness, whereas a balance of venting and listening can relieve some steam, which is necessary because in the "outside world" people don't understand. Here we can vent among people who understand, and can also take the opportunity to listen and move on.

I just wanted to point out that I feel that most people here are looking for that balance and looking for others to achieve that balance. Because the overall wish is to share our improvements with others and to help them to improve, to me that makes the hugs and comments very meaningful instead of shallow and enabling.

I'm not disagreeing with you Fuzzybear, quite the opposite I am agreeing with you. Just wanted to express my appreciation for people like you and heather and septmorn and ozzie and bptoo and Lady Dragus and Kris and etc etc etc who have made this place helpful and comfortable for me. And I hope I can give back when I am able.

Thank you all.

{{{{{{{{{{{bighugforeveryone}}}}}}}}}}}

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

SeptemberMorn · Mar 05, 2004, 01:30 PM

"I just wanted to point out that I feel that most people here are looking for that balance and looking for others to achieve that balance. Because the overall wish is to share our improvements with others and to help them to improve..."

Some are looking for "others to achieve that balance" FOR them. That can't happen until the "sharing of improvements" are accepted by the reader and taken to mind.

Right now, I find this board very UNbalanced. Maybe it's my tenacity that has brought me back, yet again, today. More of "What I've learned..."

"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare

heatherm · Mar 05, 2004, 02:35 PM

{{{{{{{Fuzzy}}}}}}}}

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Heather

heatherm · Mar 05, 2004, 02:47 PM

{{{{{{{{{Dexter Susan Tomi}}}}}}}}}

Dexter...your post really touched me....thank you. I have always admired how you reach out to others so selflessly.

I have never felt obligated to post....I am the type of person that if I can offer any support, guidance, advice or even a helping hand I am there in a heartbeat. That is my nature.

I am feeling the best mentally I have felt in a long time. Physically I am healing too and these past couple of weeks have given me lots of time to think. I am in a new chapter of my life and I want to surround myself with positive things.

I am not saying I am leaving either....just my focus will be on different areas.

Love you all xoxo

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Heather

PlanningtoLive · Mar 05, 2004, 03:12 PM

I love you dearly, Tomi. Don't go too far away okay?

Same for you Heather, Fuzzy, Dave, Greg, Carrie...Jill, and the others. [sigh]

Life changes and not always for the best sometimes.

Mary Alice

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