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  #1  
Old May 10, 2008, 12:57 PM
pinksoil
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Trigger icon for very light mention of SI and suicidal ideaion

I'm not scared of starting the job. I'm not scared of not knowing what to do. Being a therapist comes natural to me, and although I have years and years worth of things to learn, I am confident in my abilities to do this. I shouldn't have even called it a job, because it's really not a job to me. It's just what I do, what I am meant to do. Part of my life. This has been my dream for so long.

I am scared, however, because I have been going through such a %#@&#! cyclone for the past eight months or so. It all started with a four-month depressive episode and turned into out of control SI, mood swings, etc.

Where it stands now-- I am still SI'ing, I was just taken off of Lithium last night because of symptoms indicated that the levels were getting too high, I deal with suicidal feelings everyday (not going to act on it), and am still feeling the disappointment and anger of a denial of admission to an inpatient hospital to get help.

So basically, I am still in the middle of this total cyclone and I'm walking into a full-time job with it. I know that I can leave my %#@&#! at the door when I see my patients. I did it for a year at my internship. T is so confident that this will be positive for me-- and he is right because when I was interning, during those times in which I was involved with my patients, either directly or indirectly, I was like a different person.

However, I am still scared. I am not even close to what you would call stable. Like I said, I am not scared about going in there and doing my thing. I'm scared that it will all just be too much. I wish I could have gotten better during my time off, but instead, I was thrown off more.

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  #2  
Old May 10, 2008, 01:02 PM
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ziggy1 ziggy1 is offline
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(((Pinksoil))) all I can say is Congrats...!!

I think you and I both Know that new situations are always somewhat fearful. So try to take it slow and I know you'll
make it thru with no problem.

You have come this far, I know you make it all the way..!!!

Good Luck... New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.
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New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.
  #3  
Old May 10, 2008, 01:19 PM
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chalmette70043 chalmette70043 is offline
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Keeping you in my thoughts ((((pinksoil)))). If its too much, step to side for a few minutes and gather yourself back together again. You can do it. Everyone here is pulling for you.


chalmette
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  #4  
Old May 10, 2008, 01:42 PM
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Typo Typo is offline
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Congrats Pinksoil!!
You'll do a great job..and maybe getting into a routine or having something like being a therapist will help with that cyclone you where talking about. Maybe this job will help you feel better!!
Like chalmette said we are all pulling for you hun!! Good luck!!
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  #5  
Old May 10, 2008, 03:01 PM
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TaintedGoth1 TaintedGoth1 is offline
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New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared. pinksoil New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.
  #6  
Old May 10, 2008, 03:05 PM
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MyBestKids2 MyBestKids2 is offline
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((Pinksoil))

You are a beautiful kind intelligent person. My faith is you is unreachable, you WILL be an awesome therapist!!
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  #7  
Old May 10, 2008, 03:33 PM
freewill
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Praying.. that the "cyclone" will quiet... as you go to work...

can see.. that you will be an awesone therapist - and yes you have nothing to fear about that...

the starting of a job in the middle of a "cyclone".... I wish that you had had your chance at the hospital..and it makes me mad.. that you didn't get what you needed...

will be keeping you in my thoughts....
  #8  
Old May 10, 2008, 03:42 PM
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Do your best. New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.
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New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.
Believe in Him or not --- GOD LOVES YOU!

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  #9  
Old May 10, 2008, 03:58 PM
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What an awesome job to have, and one that you love! Don't worry, you will have a great time!
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New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.
  #10  
Old May 10, 2008, 04:18 PM
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EJ711 EJ711 is offline
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Pinksoil,

Congratulations! New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.

I will be praying for you!

EJ
  #11  
Old May 10, 2008, 04:53 PM
Anonymous33350
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i know you can do it!
  #12  
Old May 10, 2008, 06:14 PM
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Razzleberry Razzleberry is offline
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You can do it!! Hang in there. Any new job is stressful enough but with everything you have been going thru, I can't imagine how hard this is.

Perhaps seeing how much you can help others will give you the confidence to help yourself. And I think the daily routine might be good to help keep your mind off of things like SI.

You'll do great.
  #13  
Old May 10, 2008, 08:01 PM
RozG RozG is offline
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((((((pinksoil))))))

sendimg you all my best wishes...though i'm sure you'll be fine, it's natural to worry when starting a new job.

New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared. New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.
  #14  
Old May 10, 2008, 11:19 PM
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splitimage splitimage is offline
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(((pinksoil)))

You may even find the routine of having a job to go to, to be a stabalizing influence in your own life. I know it is for me.

I'm sure you'll be a great therapist, and that you'll manage to pull through.

--splitimage
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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.
  #15  
Old May 10, 2008, 11:27 PM
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New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.

Pink,

Clyde has faith in you New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.
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  #16  
Old May 11, 2008, 02:37 PM
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Soidhonia Soidhonia is offline
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Congratulations (((PINK))). I am sorry that you are scared and I hope things go well with you at work. The first day is the worst and then it will get better from there when you find you own niche. Take care and best wishes. Soidhonia
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  #17  
Old May 11, 2008, 06:39 PM
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sarahlilianne sarahlilianne is offline
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Congrats pinksoil! You will be a good therapist I'm sure of that. have a great day tomorow New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.
Lily
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"In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us." -- Flora Edwards
  #18  
Old May 11, 2008, 06:56 PM
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Have a wonderful day tomorrow Pink in your new position. Please give us an update as oon as you can!

New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.
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  #19  
Old May 11, 2008, 09:14 PM
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MissCharlotte MissCharlotte is offline
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Hey Pinksoil,

I think the job will be good for you. In the beginning it will seem like a lot but when we do the work we love it does become a "place for us to practice being us." (or something like that as T said to me) I agree with others--it will be a stabilizing influence and in a way may create the room you have been looking for to take better care of you.

Take your time getting accustomed to the new routine. Take extra special care of yourself the first few weeks. Get as much sleep as you can manage and eat healthy. Take a vitamin too!

I think you will be the most awesome T and I am jealous of your clients already. They are so so lucky.

Peace and may the force be with you!

New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared. New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared. New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared. New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.
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New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.
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  #20  
Old May 11, 2008, 10:08 PM
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I'm sure your new employer understands your situation and won't give you too much to handle. New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.
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New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.
Believe in Him or not --- GOD LOVES YOU!

Want to share your Christian faith? Click HERE
  #21  
Old May 11, 2008, 10:45 PM
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ECHOES ECHOES is offline
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Pinksoil, I hope your first day as a therapist goes well. Okay, actually I hope ALL your days as a therapist go well. New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.

Good that your pdoc was watching your Lithium levels closely and that you're okay.

New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared. Congratulations on having your dream come to life!!
  #22  
Old May 12, 2008, 09:55 AM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared. pink New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.
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  #23  
Old May 12, 2008, 05:20 PM
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nightbird nightbird is offline
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New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.

(like opening night jitters)
let's giggle a little

New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.

you'll be good as gold, not to worry

peace,
nightbird



New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared. New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.
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  #24  
Old May 12, 2008, 05:26 PM
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Oh wow, its here. Hope everything went well, can't wait for an update!!!

(((pink))) New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared. New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.
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  #25  
Old May 12, 2008, 07:24 PM
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puckyjan56 puckyjan56 is offline
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pinksoil......you will do fine, congrats.....pj56............xxoo
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New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.

New job as therapist starting Monday-- I'm really scared.
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