[onlymedid]

So, I have been sitting on this since Tuesday. My T and I were talking about one of my alters, a child, she told me that I had to come up with 20 things I could do to nurture this alter.
I have NO IDEA how to nurture her. How do you nurture a child? What does it mean? HELP!

BJ

[Christina86]

What about listening? Doing fun activities? Holding her? Spending time with her?

[bebop]

I think it would depend on the age of the child.

[MyBestKids2]

My kids are 9 and 12...They still sit on my lap and let me run my fingers through their hair whispering sweet nothings in their ear

[DePressMe]

Hi BJ...I have done a lot of inner child work--maybe something similar to what you are doing. Not the same but as close as I can relate to....I had to learn to nurture my little self. A lot of it is imaginary...inviting her to my special meditation spot, dancing in the grass, holding her in my arms, fixing her a meal (actually making a special meal I know she would like), I even bought toys for her and a kid like bracelet...just think of all the things you would want as a child, that you might not have had....I envisioned giving her a bath with lotsa bubbles and drying her off with a big warm fuzzy towel...

[onlymedid]

Ooooooh OK! Now I get it. Thank you SOOO much for the ideas! I really had no clue! I think that sounds really bad to say that I don't know how to nurture! LOL

I think I will start my list now...20 should be no problem! Well, there is the list, that's the easy part, the implementation will be harder. One step at a time, I suppose.

Thanks again!
BJ

[KathyM]

I agree with Christina - hold her.

The best nurturing I received was from my father. I'd climb onto his lap when he was sitting in his chair and place my head on his chest. He'd wrap his arms around me and say "Let's enjoy it" (meaning let's enjoy this moment together). We'd sit quietly as I listened to his heart beating, and it gave me the strength I needed to go back out and face the world again.

Exercise is good too. He also used to take me out to the woods on the weekends at the break of dawn for a walk - regardless of weather. On one frigid morning the snow was really deep and I was cold and exhausted. I stopped and said "Dad, I can't do this anymore." He said "Yes, you can - you have a lot of spirit." I said, "But dad, it's COLD!" He said with a smile "Isn't it great? It means you're still alive."

I think of that day a lot because I often wonder if I can keep on going. When my pain becomes severe, I find myself almost laughing because I can hear still hear my dad saying "Isn't it great? It means you're still alive."

Good luck ((BJ))

[Doh2007]

I would buy her a big stuffed animal to cuddle. I would buy her crayons and paper to draw on. I would go into a toy store and let her choose something to play with. I would ask her what to wear when I'm getting dressed in the morning. I would take her rollerskating. I would take her to the zoo. I would give her a big hug.

I was given a mouse by my t to cuddle and talk to .... i also ask her questions with my right hand and answer with my left, maybe you should ask your t first though as this sometimes can trigger flashbacks ..... it gets the left hand side of your brain working with the right (if you are right handed) if not vice versa. I tell her i love her and she is safe. i sleep withthe mouse every night.i listen when she is hurting and try to be calm and look after her. If she is scared i tell her its ok, as far as i know there is only her, but when my memories from teenager appear I'm not so sure becuase i tend to act like a teen slamming doors and tantrums

sorry i'm rambling. jin

[splitimage]

I read kids books to my little inner girls. At first I thought it was strange, but I was having a really hard time dealing with my mother's death - she died when I was 13. And my T gave me a kids book on death to read aimed at the age group I was in when my Mom died, and strangely it helped. Lately too, I've been going back and rereading the books I loved as a kid.

---splitimage

[onlymedid]

THANKS!! You all are helping more than you could ever know! I do actually have a coloring book and crayons. I just found the string to make friendship bracelets and I have my mom's garfield to hug. I have just recently started the handwriting with T. It is very interesting!

Don't worry, Jinnyann, you weren't rambling!

Thanks again everyone....this is awesome...you all have wonderful ideas!!!!

BJ