[eskielover]

This probably sounds dumb, but as a child, I was brought up with all the manners my parents could find to enforce. Like "yes sir/ma'am", "no sir/ma'am", yes, please, thank you, and all the other polite wordings. Don't get me wrong, I think it is very good to have these manners...but sometimes when I say "yes, sir" I end up getting the comment of "oh, that's my father" or "don't call me that, it makes me feel old". I never mean to irratate people by being polite. I just comes out after living with it all my life & having it drilled in as a child.

Sometimes I find my self trying so hard to remember not to offend someone that I forget what I'm really trying to say, & the words slip out anyway. At that point, I try to explaine a little, but feel that gets in the way of the conversation also. It seems hard to live with how I was trained & merge it into what others want. It seems strange how being polite can get you into so much trouble when I was taught that it was the only acceptable thing to do.

[Wants2Fly]

Hi Eskie --

I do that, too. Sometimes I wind up saying, "Yes ma'am," to someone who is younger than I! Living in the South makes it a lot easier, bec. yessir and yes, ma'am remain standard forms of address. So a good solution might be to move to Louisiana. Jest kidding.

This is the biggest booboo of my life in the "inappropriate forms of address" category: One of my oldest friends, who is 60 or 61, is the romantic interest of a man who is 70. Let's call them Jack and Jill. They've been a couple for years.

Some of his adult children still live in the home where they were raised, so he mostly stays at her small apartment. Memories of mom in the house and all, privacy issues, etc, so Jack and Jill never sleep there. When I visited her, I was thus put up in the Big House with his children. I am 56, and they are in their mid-30s to late-40s.

I had spent time with Jack and Jill, and of course, I called him Jack. One morning, at the Big House, Jack, who is a prominent official in that state, had apparently gotten home late from some event and came down the stairs of the Big House for breakfast.

"Good morning, Mr. Jones," I blurted out. I could have died. Well, fortunately, he is so prominent that he is used to having people call him "Mr" and "sir," and the old smoothie didn't say anything. I wish there had been an elevator to the basement, though.

Most of the time I believe, I probably inhabit these incidents far longer and more acutely than the other person. "Angels fly because they take themselves lightly." That's what I need to do more often.

[SweetCrusader]

I confess... I am one of those that HATES to be called ma'am. Especially by someone older than me! But it isn't so much about being OFFENDED per se. It just makes me feel OLD! lol! I like the fact that I'm in my early 20s and I wanna enjoy that! I wanna be a miss for as LONG as I can!!!

I do appreciate that a person who calls me ma'am is showing me respect, so I generally don't say anything, but inside, I CRINGE and think "It's MISS, please, if you must use a formality-- I'm younger than you, buddy!" Although, come to think of it, it bothers me more when someone my age or younger calls me ma'am than it does when someone older does...

Anyway, I've heard a lot of people have that reaction, and I think it's more of a "humorous" comment when people say not to call them ma'am and sir, not so much actually being offended. I could be wrong though.

If you were talking to someone like me, and they said not to call them ma'am, I would say for you just to tell them that you were only trying to show them respect. Then they'll feel silly for making such a big deal out of it :P Plus, they will probably feel respected

Angela

I think it's great that you say "ma'am" and "sir"..Polite works at times when you're are even thinking like that. I went into a different culture to document events with photography.....I was accepted into their lives.....know why? A man told me that it was because I shook everyone's hand everytime I saw them and spoke respectfully.........

[Wants2Fly]

You know what seems a patronizing to me. When someone calls me,"Young Lady." I have silver hair, for crissakes. What, am I supposed to do -- giggle and flutter my fan with glee?

[eskielover]

Thank you all for your input. I was curious about others experiences & points of view. Guess you are correct, Wants2Fly, I would probably fit into the Southern life style better than Calif. Seems it is so casual here that I am really out of place with the norm. I'm not one that likes to stick out, but they say "You can't teach an old dog new tricks".

Wisewoman, I think you are very appropriate it the way you handle yourself. You shouldn't feel nervous but sometimes when the words aren't ingrained in your vocabulary, it takes more thought as to what is an appropriate response.

Thank you SkyBdark, I never thought about it being "kewl". I know it has gotten me out of trouble at times without even realizing that would be the effect.

It always seems strange to me when I have to explain myself. I usually turn as red as a tomato & want to crawl under the nearest rock. But I have found it is something that has just become a part of me which comes out without thinking.