control

What is it? how do you define it? Is it simply the ability to affect the outcome of circumstances? or, is it more of an absolute concept...I've adopted a definition for myself which incorporates the word "real" which I define as "that which cannot be threatened" so, "real control," what are the things which we (under this definition) "control" perhaps our automobile? no...you can have a blow out and loose control! what about other people? no, they can decide to NOT do as we say! okay, how about ourselves? NO, we're not machines, we're based in emotion and that is SO not logical! what then do we have control over? Our thought's...but even that is part time at best! Living under the "illusion" of control causes people a lot of problems.When they're confronted by it people often feel "shattered." I've known a lot of people who take responsibility for things they have no control over...also a recipe for a belief systym crash! what do you think?

Itss funny you posted this
well not funny hahah
Last night my daughter had a party to go to. I took control and drove her. Which in my eyes was a good thing.I am still thinking that.
My ins my car. So I needed that control.....plus her life and others..

One of the ppl she knows drove to the party. He got drunk. Him and a freind of his left the party. no one knew they left.
They crashed , ((they are both ok)) but he called his Mom who took responsablity for the accident.
Meaning she took control
your statement
"people who take responsibility for things they have no control over"

This kid had a brand new 2007 car.
What would I have done.
I hate to say it. He was drunk, under age, He coulda hurt someone
I would have let him take the responsibility..........
I would do anything to protect my kids
But when you come to this how will he learn this kid
so yes its a recipe for a belief systym crash........
sorry hope this was not out of line
muffy

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altonwoodsdrphil said:
What is it?

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Fear personified in action.

IMHO.

Lenny

Lenny, it can be a terifying thought! if we don't have control where does that leave us?

> if we don't have control where does that leave us?

How much do you think you can actually control?

Being able to cope successfully with whatever comes up seems to me much better.

Control is an illusion. We go with the flow in spite of thinking we control.

Or we attempt to control and suffer the consequences of the fact that we can't.

My T says that the only ting we can really control is our thoughts.

I thing that some sense of control comes to us with experience but in order to have control over your life you need to let go of control first.

Excellent discussion - some good points!

I think you can control your attitude. Not your mood but how you think about life and it's curves.

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ECHOES said:
Control is an illusion. We go with the flow in spite of thinking we control.

Or we attempt to control and suffer the consequences of the fact that we can't.

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I totally agree with Echoes.

I've always thought it was interesting how children were much happier when there was a parent or adult who was "in control", it eases their feelings of anxiety when they know that someones in charge and that it's not them, and how having distinct boundries also allows them to simply be children and not have to be stressed out wondering just how far they can push it, instead they know! I know that I'm not in "control" of anything, certainly not this crazy world or what might happen to me and my family,or my finances,or my health, but instead of being anxious or depressed I can be peaceful like the little child who knows only one thing, I am loved by the one who does control all of that! If you think that your situation is out of hand,or "out of control" perhaps you've stumbled onto a bit of truth, what you do in response is your choice...and you definitely control that!

WoW >>> That is so Jim Jones philosphy... It is a word game that draws in the weak and makes them believe they are safe ,, and loved >> while being preyed upon ....

Some members here understand cult mindset .

Sorry if this is not supportive I mean it to be >>>. Just a teaching tool for others to be aware of if a total stranger expresses these ideals . Back away slowly and then >>>> RUN >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>...........

WMD. Trust your Instincts !!!!!!!

Even though we're not in control of what will happen, we are in control of making decisions in response to whatever did happen.

Control is the ability to actuate a specific outcome.

the only control we have on this plaet isthe control we have over ourselves.

: and since we're emotionally based that's also compromised...

HUH ???

> I've always thought it was interesting how children were much happier when there was a parent or adult who was "in control"

And when they grow up, they are no longer children...

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pachyderm said:
> I've always thought it was interesting how children were much happier when there was a parent or adult who was "in control"

And when they grow up, they are no longer children...

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Simple but very good reply!!

I think control is difficult to define. We may need a few numbers under this one

It can be an illusion of being able to ward off or invite a desirable event, an example includes people with OCD who try to control bad things from happening by doing compulsions.

One can be in control of another's body physically - torture being an example. However, I can't think of a time that one could ever be in complete control of another's mind. One can inflict damage (or be healing) but there are way too many variables to describe the outcome in one word or a phrase.

As far as being "in control" of one's self, as you mentioned, emotions thwart attempts to control one's mind at times. I don't even think you can control your thoughts, this is a mindful meditation issue. Sometimes random, heinous, thoughts go through your mind. IF you attempt to control them by suppressing them, they come back with a vengeance. So, let that random thought flow, don't fight it. Don't attempt to gain control.

Those are some of my thoughts, but I'm sure I'll think about it more Good topic Altwood! Your brain serves you well