[hulkster]

My wife had elective gallbladder surgery 1 year ago. While coming out of anesthesia, she experienced pulmonary edema, for which a cause was never identified. She left the hospital after 2 days in ICU. Her cardiologist told her she had a mild heart attack (troponin was very slightly elevated) and suffered congestive heart failure. We have seen 3 cardiologists since then, and 5 echocardiograms and 1 nuclear stress test later, they found no heart problems. 2 Months after this surgery, she became pregnant with our 2nd child. 2 months into the pregnancy, she started to collapse (legs give out, no loss of consiousness), numb arms, chest pain and palpitations, and also tachycardia. She is convinced that her heart is damaged and the doctor's are wrong or are covering up for the hospital that did the surgery. We had a healthy son last month, but she still feels her heart is damaged, or why would she still feel this way. She is talking about getting another stress test or heart catherization done.
Any time I've mentioned to her or her family that we should talk to someone (i.e. therapy), she flips out and our marriage suffers. She feels that I think she is faking her symptoms. I am under constant stress that anything I say will cause us to divorce. I am afraid of what will happen to her, and her ability to care for our 2 young children if she is not helped. Her mother is an undocumented borderline personality who is also a hypochondriac. Her father blindly follows her mothers direction. Her father has disowned his own father and sister at his wife's insistence.
I love my wife dearly. How can I get her the help she needs?

[SweetCrusader]

Maybe you could ask her to go to marriage counseling first or something?

This is a tough call. I hope someone else will have some ideas for you.

Good luck! I feel for you

[wisewoman]

This is not an answer to your question but I will tell you that people who have had cardiac issues and cardiac surgeries are documented to have anxiety and depression after surgery or event. It is only by dealing with it straight up and identifying it as a physiological reaction to a condition that it can then be dealt with. You may make an appointment with a cardiologist she likes and talk to him about what you are seeing, what you suspect, and what I have said here. Many people need antidepressants for a time to help them through that period and it must be more difficult if it is not identified. There is also a bit of research that I have seen that documents even general anesthsia being related to post surgery depression. Not to mention the emotional stress of such an experience. Hope this helps.

[Peanuts]

maybe it would help if you could talk to a professional about how all this stress is affecting you and that person can advise you on how to help your wife. ?? Good luck and hang in there.

[(JD)]

Welcome Hulkster to the greatest support site online! IMHO.
Let me ask some questions, you don't need to reply here, but check for yourself maybe? What reports do you actually have in hand? The cardiologist that "told your wife" she had a mild heart attack... do you have his report... or the hospital's about the edema? Is this documented or a verbal report from your wife? If there is no record, then why not get one?

I wonder if her mother has an actual dx of hyperchondriosis? Or is this an assessment from family members... you mentioned your wife had ELECTIVE gallbladder surgery. What exactly is that? Certainly no respectable surgeon would do that on a whim? Did you mean that she had problems and one of the solutions was to have the gallbladder removed?

You wife has had a lot of stress in her life (and you too!) even good stress like an adorable baby is still stress! Hormones go bezerk especially at that time, but also during surgery etc. Will your wife see her MD or even "baby" doctor and express ANXIETY that is making her worry about this and that? perhaps anxiety is easier to discuss? Would you feel the need to go with her and make sure the MD hears how it is affecting hers, and yours, lives?

Just my thoughts. Again welcome!

I agree wtih Wisewoman........the anesthesia that is used to put one to sleep is a poison....it takes 72 hours for it to clear from bloodstream....at the earliest....it takes much longer than that to get over the effects of being under general anesthesia. Depression can come after having had surgery and/or a diagnosis as she has. Talk to the cardiologist, yourself, before you go for the appointment. Believe me, he'll appreciate a "heads up" so that he can help her. Best to you and your family. Pat

[MLuckycharm76]

I just wanted to give you a few ideas based on my own experiences and medical training.
1. Medicine can be wrong.
2. She could have a condition small enough to go undetected for years while stil producing symptoms for her.
3. Even If it turns out to only be somatoform in the end she really is feeling and experiencing the pain that she expresses. I know this from personal experience and extensive research. I possible way to diminish some of the tension and stress would be to acknowledge and validate her pain. Not dote or enable just validate. Possibly after awhile she might not be so defensive when you the subject up. Plus getting the depression treated should alleviate some of the pain. I hope maybe I gave you some food for thought. I'm not a doctor but I have been around the mental health block far too many times in my 28 years and it all fascinates me so I pay very close attention, I admit I'm no expert though. Best wishes. Please keep me posted. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
P.S. PLease make sure you remember to adress and take care of your mental health because if you get too stressed or depressed you won't be able to help anybody else. I hope all calms down for you.