[kimmydawn]

Bringing personal conflict/upset/disagreement/dislike to the public forums is against the community guidelines for PC and not within its mission.

When we bring personal upsets to the public forums it can be upsetting in one to several ways...even when vague.

To post about another member in a critical or negative way is flaming. They can be left to feel hurt, upset and angered that they've been called to the public carpet or that others are seeking support for themselves but against them...feeling very unsupported.

Vague posting can be even more upsetting, and more widely damaging. Those who don't even have a thing to do with anything can feel extremely hurt due to internalizing the vague posting. For instance, when we post vaguely, any member reading who's had any contact with the member posting vaguely can feel it's about them, thinking the post about them...internalizing all the upset and anger. I'm certain that this isn't something we hope to see happen.

However it's done, it is simply non-supportive and can help to create anywhere from individual to larger scale upsets within the community...touching many more than we might have intended and interrupting experiences.

When members seen continual upsets, whether or not they're involved, it's interrupting to the experience of support. When we post outside of the guidelines, especially in this area, it almost always affects several to many more than was our intent.

Whether the posting is vague or clear, it almost always is a fuel to the fire, often times affecting the membership on a larger scale.

Guys, please take this in and practice it as a norm. I know it's hard not to seek support when we're angry and/or upset. That's kind of what we do here right? That's true and a good thing EXCEPT when another member, or members, who "lives" in the same community might be hurt, upset, angered, or in some way having their support interrupted or stopped. In other words, it's great and encouraged here to seek support for ourselves, EXCEPTING when it might take away from the support of another.

Please help the mod/admin team work to a wonderful experience for ALL.

Those who might post about another member here, even vaguely, will see those posts removed. Please be clear in your posting if in conflict with another member, because if there's complaint and the post is vague, it will more than likely be removed.

From there, if a member's account sees continual editing by mods or admin, the account could see action (warning of suspension, posting limited, suspension, etc.).

Please keep this in mind as we continue in our posting because, again, posting construed to be about another member, or members here...whether clear or vague...will be removed and the member PM'ed. Continual actions might find a member with admin action.

I appreciate everyone working with the community to make PC a welcoming and supportive place for ALL to find solace. If another member is upsetting you in some respect but are posting/chatting within the guidelines, please place them on ignore. If another member is posting/chatting outside of the guidelines, please report the situation ASAP for it to be addressed, but do not post publicly about the same.

Thank you so much for helping to make PC, and all its members, a great place to be!

If anyone would like to discuss any current issues in and around this subject, or any difficulty, please address it to me or another member of the mod/admin team *in PM*.

Sincerely and with respect,

KD

**edited to correct typo

[Slippers]

Thanks Kimmy for taking the time to address such a delicate issue. And thank you for all your work here. It's not an easy job!!

Slippers

[pachyderm]

It seems to me that perfection is required here. What brought this up?

[DePressMe]

I seem to be naive about this type of thing--I never see it. My experience with PC has always been positive. Well, okay, now I remember one time where a member "flamed" me. Not sure if that is the right term. It did hurt my feelings for a bit. But, I try real hard to see the good in everybody/thing. If something is posted that I kinda disagree with or don't like, I just ignore it. It generally just goes away and that is good enough for me. I have to keep my pride in check when I deal with this type of issue--in real life or here on PC because I always want to look like I am "right." And, maybe always get the last word in, so I "win" the disagreement. Truly, winning is when people come to an understanding and respect each others opinions (even if I don't agree). I hope that I have never said anything to upset another member...I wish that we all would care and support one another, even if we disagree. PsychCentral rocks!!! Let's keep it that way!

[Fuzzybear]

"Truly, winning is when people come to an understanding and respect each others opinions (even if I don't agree)"

My thoughts too, wish this was an ideal world though.

[I_WMD]

>>.. It is a good thing when we help or see ,, a member break from their non - existant or challenged self - esteem ,,,

to a higher amount of convidence in themselves .

Or ,, even support another member for the time it may take to gradually ,, or otherwise ,, give them the place within them that exists ,,, but for the moment they may not see.....

[EJ711]

Doc John, KD and PC Moderator Team,

Thank you for working so hard to make PC a safe place to meet and support others, be supported and exchange information and ideas.

EJ

[Angel_of_the_Past]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
EJ711 said:
Doc John, KD and PC Moderator Team,

Thank you for working so hard to make PC a safe place to meet and support others, be supported and exchange information and ideas.

EJ

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I agree, thank you-Angel

[kimmydawn]

Thank you all.

Yes, I'm sure not everyone sees the different situations, and probably due to a few reasons...posts have been edited/deleted by a mod/admin, it's vague and unless someone has knowledge of the upset, it wouldn't be clear, etc.

I'm so glad we can all work together to offer every member PC in accordance with its mission. Thank you so much for that.

Also, thank you for the appreciation shown. This team really does work hard (discussion behind the scenes to insure the most thoughtful course of action, etc.).

I would personally like to thank DocJohn, my fellow co-admins, moderators AND MEMBERS for all the hard work put into making this community the best experience on the internet for mental health and surrounding issues.

For instance, when I was so ill and away, people stepped up to the plate and helped me and each other while also caring deeply for me and helping me along in my recovery process. That's such a blessing for me, and similar makes it such a blessing for each member here. Just the care found here can make my eyes leak a bit.

Thank you all so much for each and every little and big thing you do to make PC what it is. Without you (each and every member), it wouldn't be what it is and with you, it's something quite special.

KD

[Monty_girl]

I just wanted to say something. No large group of ppl will always get along. Just human nature. It's how you respond to someone who upsets you that truely matters. If someone upsets you, set them on ingore. I've seen ppl disagree in the site and most of the time it's handled well. Just remember to treat ppl the way you want to be treated.

Take responsibility for your own feelings and actions. And know that there are going to be ppl and post on here you don't agree with. I have my feelings hurt in one shape or form daily of the site. But I know that going into this site. It's the handful of ppl that make a small bit of difference in my life that keep me coming back. Know your limits. If someone is upsetting you and has been for awhile, then take a break from the site till you can chill out and not cross a line. Come on ppl it's all good if you take personal respondsibility for your actions.

[Mouse_]

Patchy, Yeah I agree...having to keep walking on egg-shells doesn't create for a healthy atmosphere either..sometimes the working out of problems can tend to get a bit "messy",... but sometimes lessons have to be learnt and they can't be learnt by being censored constantly.. or "caretakered"?

[Irine]

i agree. also, in discussion. you can disagree without ...heck i forgot..i think you guys know the expression