[darkrunner]

(trigger warning for mention of SI and ED)


My H went with me to see my T today and it was a disaster. I hated every minute of it, and there were a lot of minutes because it lasted for almost 2 1/2 hours.
Now my H is not talking to me and I want to cancel my appointment with T on Wednesday.

I starved all day, and when I finally ate something I purged.

I am fighting strong impulses to SI, which I haven't done in 2 weeks.



I just want this day to be over.....to pop my seroquel and settle into bed and sleep sleep sleep.........I hate that the sun is shining and that it is a beautiful fall day........I hate that I have to make dinner and give my kids baths and help them with their homework. I just can't cope anymore - what do you do when you just can't do it one minute longer?

Forgive my whining and venting here.....didn't know whether to put this in psychotherapy, eating disorder, SI, or depression forum.

sorry for posting this.......I know everyone has their struggles.....sometimes it just feels good to vent.

ktgirl

[(JD)]

I think posting here is one way the members do cope with such "terrible" days.

Don't harm yourself for what occurred today. You don't deserve that on top of everything else. I'm glad you came here to share you day with us. I'm sorry to hear it was so tough.

Maybe if you get time you can think about what about that long session is giving you so much turmoil in mind? Please try to eat a little something. I hope you have a good night's sleep and don't drag any of this angst into tomorrow.

[gimmeice]

((((((((((((( ktgirl ))))))))))))) I am sorry that you having such a hard day.

[darkrunner]

((((((Sky and Gimmeice)))))))
thank you. thank you........it helps. You have helped.

[(JD)]

((((ktgirl))) You ARE coping.... just keep swimming just keep swimming...

(((((((((((((((((((((( ktgirl ))))))))))))))))))))))))

Ugh, what a day! I'm sorry - it sounds totally overwhelming, just one thing after another.

Can you try to get through the day without SI, do what you absolutely have to do, and then go ahead and take your sleep meds and go to bed early? Sometimes if I can just make it to the end of the day, the next morning looks a little brighter.

It's so hard to believe when we're in it, but things are ALWAYS changing, and it won't feel like this forever. I promise.

[darkrunner]

((((((earthmama))))))

your understanding and encouragement brought tears to my eyes.
I'm not sure why.....but it is so good to be heard and understood
you're right - it won't last forever.
haven't SI'd yet and I'm feeling stronger now.
I'm sure tomorrow will be better.
thanks....
kt

[sujunew]

(((((ktgirl)))))
when you think of all that needs to be done it can be totally overwhelming when you are not coping so well. Sit down for 5 minutes, close your eyes and force your mind to go blank. When you're feeling a little calmer focus on one thing at a time- start the dinner then focus on the kids homework, then the baths. Can you take 1 serequel to help with the anxiety/thoughts of SI?
As the minutes go by, you will find you have gone another 5/10/15 minutes and that you HAVE made it...and that you HAVE coped. Take care.

[darkrunner]

((((sujunew)))) - thank you
Your suggestion is a positive way to cope - why do I automatically
turn to the negative ways? When will I learn......

Being able to get support here yesterday really helped so much.....
I am so grateful to you all.

I made it through the day.
didn't SI
talked with H and I ended up crying but we came to an understanding
and didn't go to be angry
the eating didn't go so well.....but today is another day.

thanks again
for the support
it REALLY helped.

[Typo]

(((((ktgirl)))))
I wish I has wise advice to give, but at the moment I don't, but I am offering many hugs to you and sending you happy thoughts...

[multipixie9]

KTGIRL

this sounded like such an extremely hard day. i'm sure you are sleeping now and you did make it through even though it did not all go well.

2 1/2 hours with the h at the T sounds really rough, really!!!!

i would be just wrung out over that and yet you did still feed your kids and bath them and get them into bed. you did it!!

give yourself credit for making through a godzilla of a day and DO NOT BE MEAN TO YOURSELF!!!!!

try to find a healthy way to say thanks to yourself for soldiering on through a really awful day!!! You Rock!!!!

leslieann

[Kiya]

(((((((((((((Ktgirl))))))))))))
(((((((((((everyone struggling)))))))))))))))

[darkrunner]

(((((((((((((silversparrow))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((leslieann)))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((kiya))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks for the hugs and support......
I did make it through.....barely.....
and yesterday was a little better.
See T again today (by myself)
and hopefully it will leave me feeling uplifted
instead of 'wrung out'....
but you never know, do you.

With appreciation for your kind words,
ktgirl