[cms39]

I just realized what a great place this is for encouragement and affirmations. I don't have a lot of contact with people, so I email people. I don't really have any friends I can talk to. Soo.... I sent an email to a "friend" I reconnected with last year from high school. I asked her to let me know where I stand with her. She sent back a very nasty note telling me I should stop feeling sorry for myself (when did I do that?) except I told her I was sick. She said "it's not like we're dating" Well, how absurd. We're friends - I thought. I had told her that I was not feeling well. She never resopnded.

But she told me she is going to Korea and she got a new belt in karate. She said her messages to me just seem to make me feel insecure (which they sort of do, I'll admit).

I think she's blowing it way out of proportion. Isn't it ok to ask where you stand with a friend? Or is that out of line?

[cms39]

She is married to a doctor and has a very full life - martial arts classes, children, travel, gourmet cooking. Well, how nice. Good for her. Guess she doesn't need me. Guess I was feeling worthless for not being as (successful, rich, blessed, etc) as she is.

It's not a winning game to play. I have to count my own blessings. I don't have to feel guilty because I don't DO as much as she does. I can't. She doesn't understand.

[silver_queen]

I don't see what is wrong with asking her where you both stand in the relationship. Maybe asking her will draw her attention to her own behaviour. Basically, relationships are supposed to be equal and you shouldn't feel upset or insecure from how she treats you. To my mind, there is nothing wrong with feeling a little sorry for yourself when you feel ill and she should have sympathised with you not criticized you. If she is really doing you no good from the relationship and hurting you, maybe you should consider stopping writing to her.

[cms39]

Oh yeah, she's off the list. No more.

[nothemama8]

as I always say with friends like that who needs enemies
besides you got us

[bptoo]

cms,

Like the others have said, you got us. A real friendship in my eyes is like a true love, it's unconditional. You don't only hear and say the things that make you comfortable, you're there for the long haul, good and bad. It seems your friend only wants you when you're doing well. I'm in a blunt mood this morning, so tell her to take a hike. You are a good person and worth knowing, don't ever forget that. I wonder who she turns to when things aren't going well for her?

I'm glad you're here and part of the family!

Greg

[(JD)]

Sigh. How sad. She has all that and yet still lacks, eh? It's fine to ask what level the friendship is at..IMHO

I'm sorry CMS. Shes wrong. I hope you can acknowledge that. We are put on this world to give love.. not do what she did. .. BTW. How are ya?

[_Fly]

CMS -- You did nothing wrong. Zero. Zip. Nada.

As you describe her behavior, it was what we used to call "stuck up" when I went to HS a long time ago. Come to think of it, her behavior reminds me exactly of how people behave in HS -- before they have had to confront any harsh realities.

She may have a lot of "stuff" going on in her life -- lots of superficial glamor -- but it doesn't sound like there's much there to me.

Time for new friends.

[adieuolivaw]

CMS39: I agree with Fly and Nothemama. Seems your friend enjoys mocking both the emotions and the circumstances of those who have known rough times. I don't know how you feel about it, but I would want friends who are more mature than that. I also think you can find them here.

Sometimes I feel that 3D people can just wait, until I get things sorted out with the people who understand where I'm coming from. That's why I'm here.

Adieu


Adieu

[SpazKatt]

hey hun, sometimes people just don't know how to handle the situation. I know I could never tell my best friend just because of her outlook, she's not depressed and dosen't understand the feelings of depression. *hugs*