[inkblot]

I am going freakin' nuts! It's problems with one guy after another. There are 3 @ss***** around me: one is a stalker, one sexually assaulted me two years ago, and the third basically assaulted me with a dang banana recently. I have to be near them because we are all in the same living situation, if you know what I mean. I have been PTSD'ing, getting more depressed, and have alot of attitude right now! I am almost hoping for confrontation for the chance to Beach and let out some frustration and anger. I could get an order of protection from my stalker, but I am hoping he will do something more before I go to the police. I know, that's crazy thinking--I should do something now. All it might take is for him to say something to me, I don't know. I'm not motivated to do anything right now. I don't care about school or job searching. I don't care about eating. I'm going back--okay, have already gone back--to losing weight, taking diet pills, etc., and I don't care how much I lose. I know it's wrong. I already told my T in a letter. I even told him that I lied to him. Part of me wants to grow up and be "normal" and I know that I need to, but I always fall back on these habits when I've had enough of life or when my weight is higher than I like it. Lately, it's been both. I have no one to talk to other than my T. That's not for another week, and due to my financial situation it could end again then. I just saw him last week, my first time since October. I could use him more often. I could use a lot of things.

[Rapunzel]

(((((((((Inky))))))))))

Please take care of yourself. I know it's not that easy, but just think of what you would want one of us to do if we were in exactly your situation. I think it's sometimes easier to care about someone else than about yourself, but not so effective, huh? If you could get me to like myself and be less self-destructive, would you? I'd love to see you getting the most out of life and your opportunities. But we can't do it for someone else, so we're just going to have to start caring about ourselves.

[inkblot]

I'm going to talk to the police about the stalker, file a report, maybe get an order of protection. I am freakin' tired of this guy! I've told him to leave me alone, don't talk to me, and he persists. I am tired of it and he is going to finally learn to leave me alone. He freakin doesn't and he could find time in jail. I really don't want to do this. I am emotional enough already. I could at least get the satisfaction of finally "getting even", at least to some extent. I really don't want to do this. I don't know if I can afford financially to print out all those pages of emails from this guy. I'll pick some of the "best" ones, I guess.

[shakes]

((Inky)))
I would highly recommend getting a restraining order against him. Unfortunately unless he gets arrested for stalking you you cannot get a protective order.
If you get a R.O it will last for at least six months and could get this guy removed from the place that you are staying at. Please do not let this just go on or it could become a dangerous situation for you. Your safety is most important.

Jessica