Lying

Just wondered how many lie to their families and friends about their change in moods or the intensity of the moods themselves. I do, that way they don't worry and they also don't suffocate me more than they already do. They don't trust me at all to not harm myself.

um i do as well i guess, and hide it too. from my dad, i pretend i'm ok and if he asks me if i ever feel depressed, i say something like'from time to time' which doesnt express somehow that it has taken over my life... i know my aunt and cousin would wory horribly if they knew i was depressed since they got a bad scare last time, so i just tell them that everything is ok and that i am fine. i have told my best friend abou the depression but she doesnt know how bad it is.

That's exactly what I do, I tell my family that I'm ok. I'm not so sure they buy it though sometimes.

I never let my family and friends know how bad things really are. Life just seems to go smoother that way. It's a lonely way to exist. I just feel they will not understand if I am truthful with them.

I lie to my family constantly. They are so far away and couldn't do anything anyhow. Also, I don't want them to worry. Since I started therapy, I don't lie as much to my friends. If I don't let them know how I am feeling, how can they possibly support me. That is propably the most important thing I learned from therapy. Only by letting people know what is going on can they be there for me.

The other thing I do is lie to myself. Sometimes I think that if I didn't, I wouldn't survive.

I've never even given any thought to whether I lie to myself. I think I'm doing ok but maybe others here would feel otherwise.

There is an important privacy issue at play in this lying vs truth telling idea. We tend to all paint ourselves in broad strokes with brushes dipped in hues of castigation, condemnation, and all manner of self reproach. But not everyone is entitled to a "peek inside" you. We are not freaks in a circus to be gawked at, and sadly, much of the attention that comes our way carries that with it if it doesn't define the attention outrightly. Sure, our families care. But what that caring entitles them to know is hardly carved in stone.

This doesn't sound like any kind of pin point response, I know, but back to this broad brush analogy...

What about detail brushes, smaller ones to describe ourselves to ourselves? For myself, I can not describe some of my symptoms for free. The toll exacted from me for simply telling my story, is in itself a trigger for a period of "unpleasantness." So I become choosy about which invitations I accept to talk about my "stuff." I have the right to some privacy for my inner machinations. If my choice is to not reveal in this or that moment, often the only socially accepted recourse, the path of least resistance, if you will, is to tell that "lie," again, "I'm fine." To me, there is so much difference in recognizing those details. I can't achieve that awareness with the big brush of judgement. Lord knows I get enough of that without jumping on the bandwagon myself. lol

Amen to that!!!