[MacD]

it's hard to be so proud...it's hard to ask for help...but i'm going down...and I know it....my life is caving in on me and i haven't the slightest notion of what to do..who to call. appearances have always been important in my family...but the truth is - im a mess...im exhausted...and i don't even know where to turn..in my background, we didn't talk about pain..you just cope..."gracefully" but my gracefullness is gone and im feeling desperate....wish i even knew what to ask for...wish i had someone to ask....im scared...this morning, i drove to work in an absolute fog of depression....im reaching out...but not sure what im reaching for...i want to live....and raise my precious children, but right now...im letting everyone down.

(((((((((((McDonald)))))))))))))))

You are not letting everyone down when you are making strides towards changing yourself. You can be proud of yourself for walking an honest walk and that your children can now know that when life gets tough, they can reach out to others. Congratualations on this growth step. Feel free to talk to us, or message me.

[sqrlb8]

Grace, dear one, I'm going to just blow right by the emotional component that stirs in me on your behalf. I couldn't do it justice here anyway. But, rather than blather I would hold you til it subsides.

You are not so very long out of a nasty long marriage. The aftershocks of that change are impossible to overestimate. IMHO, the single best place for you to reach out (not to the exclusion of these pages) is going to be a battered women's support group. It is free, and I guarantee there are several near you. (sad but true) You will find so very much in common with the experieces of other women there, and more importantly how to cope, go on in the best way for you and your children.

The fact that your parents are able to shelter you at this time is a mixed blessing. For all the logistical benefits, you are also a little "trapped" in that pressure of keeping up appearances. The women's group will have common experieces in that regard to share as well.

I hope you will do this. Feeling as bad as you do right now, is only going to sharpen your realization of what a good thing you did when you walk in there. This "dip" you are having is right on schedule. When you hear other women descibe the same thing, you are going to cry tears of joy.

You always hope your advice helps someone, and you hope they take it, but my friendship with you isn't contingent upon anything, so not to worry if my best idea here doesn't do a thing for you. lol. xo.

[jetblackaura]

(((((((grace)))))))))

Sqrl said eveything that needs to be said I think. Feel free to pm me anytime. I hope you can find the help you need.

Claire x

[SweetCrusader]

Grace,

I forget, are you seeing a T? If not, PLEASE call one right away!

I am very concerned for you, sweetie. It really sounds like you are struggling. PM me if you want to talk. You ALWAYS have somewhere to turn.

*huge, healing hugs*

Love
Angela

[nightdream]

Dear sweety, I don't know what I could say. I'm sorry you are struggling so much.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{McDonald}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

nightdream

[Fuzzybear]

I'm not sure what to say either, but I am so sorry you're struggling. I'm holding you in my thoughts.....
((((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))

Dear Grace, we're all pulling for YOU and praying for you and sending the best possible love to you.....Hang on. Pat

[h0kie]

I don't know you but I am thinking of you and sending you good thoughts.

I'm always here to listen if you need someone.

[wisewoman]

Hang on to the life line there. It will change.

[vacantangel]

I'm sorry that you are having a very rough time. I would suggest you get a T if you don't already have one. My shoulder is always available to cry on and I always have a listening ear. I hope you find some relief to all your pain soon. ((((((((((Grace))))))))