Why try?

I tried to hold onto a job- again. I thought I was doing well passing as a "normal" person. My previous job I had to quit after 6 months when I was triggered to a child state and behaved in what appeared to be a paranoid manner. I got put in a locked unit and the employer wouldve taken me back- but I was too ashamed, and embarrassed. Now at this new job I'm not being fired but I'm charged by a coworker in Municipal court for harassment. The job made it neccessary that I work with the person online- and some parts got mixed up about who they were talking to - and this guy was not forgiving like a support forum. I wanted to pass as normal so when this coworker started flirting and coming onto me in emails I had a child part that has an "at your service" attitude and was ready to "put out " because of the pressure from an adult.Now he wants to make it look to the court like I solicited him for sex.. I had to tell him I was confused and I apologized- but instead of being nice about it he found out info about my medical history somehow and threatened to tell our employers. So like a jerk I told my boss and they don't hold it against me- they feel he started the whole sexual harrassment thing and wants to make me look "crazy." His name is mud at work now- but thats no comfort to me because he's still out there digging into my background and making me go to court 3 times already. He wont drop it and told the court I'm mentally ill because he wants me to look bad in a public place- to push me to act out and dissociate like a side-show act. I don't know how to hold down a job and stay out of the hospital but disability which Ive been on for 6 years is not enough. I just wanted to be able to "pass" but in this town now my cover is blown. I should give up already and just not try but thats not the example I want to set for my kids and other consumers like me.But I'm so depressed and fragmenting I cant stand being in my own head and skin. I wish I could sleep forever and wake up in a new world.
Thanks for letting me ramble- I cant go out today so Im checking back to see any support or advice anyone gives and I'm explicitly asking for some right now.
Crying-in-my-coffee

hugs if ok Kathy (((((((((((( kathy ))))))))))))))

I don't know what to say, but I'm sorry you're going through this .

Hang In There, Kathy.... Sounds Like This Guy is a Real Loser...(and they always end up losing...) Love g.

he already won- im inept and deformed inside. I cant do it in court. I quit!! i was a damn fool for thinking otherwise!

((((((((kathy)))))))))

This guy is a jerk, and by what your boss said i think he thinks so too. Don't give up. We're here for you.

Kathy,

These are words my Grandmother used to say to me when I got a bad attitude about things:

Winners never quit, Quitters never win, and the losers just piss and moan.

The guy at work sounds like that latter, and we are all here for you.

((((((((kathy))))))))

and remember, you have your doc on your side too............

Kathy, can you get your boss to testify in court as a character witness? He's known you long enough to be of some help. He can also speak of your accusers character as well and give his opinion on the matter. This is just a thought. Hang in there. We all have your back here. Take care.

ryan

its finihed im done and done -bacxk to si- and locxked units.

Kathy, I'm so sorry you are experiencing these things and I hope that peace for you is just around the corner. Be safe.

ryan

Kathy, I'm sorry you're going through this. I was thinking along the same lines as Ryan, about getting your boss to come to court with you and your pdoc. Please don't give up and si. Is there somebody in your family or a friend that could go to court with you for support? You shouldn't have to go through this alone. ((((((((((((kathy))))))))))