[January]

It is taking a great amount of courage to write this, but I think the time has come to share this with you.

I have had multiple closed head injuries. I was hospitalized four days for the last one. The really grating thing was the Drs kept asking me how long I was out. Well, I was in the dark, sure didn't check my watch while falling and sure didn't check it when I sort of came to in the hospital.

I had no idea that multiple concussions could catch up with you over time and cause permanent brain damage...

Over the last four or five months, my friends have noticed changes in me that I didn't realize were happening. Now it's severe enough that I realize I'm in trouble.

I can't remember things, I get "lost" just thinking and I've gotten lost driving.

I've always made lists before, but now I have to remember to make the list and then I have to remember what to put on the lists. I leave post it notes on the bathroom mirror to tell me where I'm supposed to be that day if I have an appt.

Sometimes I can't remember the names of the simplest things. The only thing I can do is describe it the best I can and my friends guess until they get the right word.

The most frightening part for me is that I can't focus enough to read a book, and sometimes I can't even make it through a short article. I have to check my posts over and over again to see if I've written something backwards or if it made sense.

When I was working I had to write a newsletter every Mondy that went to our WV employees, but also all across the nation and to our Home Office. I won an award for outstanding work. Well, that talent is gone.

I'll be reading something on here, and suddenly it looks like Russian to me. I don't recognize the letters so I can't sound them out.

My keyboarding is now the pits and I can't spell, so I am very self conscious in chat or posts.

I guess this all boils down to I am in a terrifying place in my life, and please put up with my mistakes. I'm doing the very best I can.

Jan

[Kathyanita]

Please ask for cognitive evaluation from dr- they take hours but should be done, some blanking out is short term retrograde and some will be permanent. I had head injury when I got run over by car. The brain is remarkable and can sometimes be trained to find new ways to reroute info and rewire- I've seen it happen with my autistic nephew.
No ones "putting up withe you" we are here to put you up and see you through.
TC

[inkblot]

It's true, the brain can relearn--it's an amazing thing! We come here to learn, share and support. We love to know about each other. It helps us to help you, and helps you to help us. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Janurary}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[SpazKatt]

*hugs* we're here for you

[January]

Thank you so much KathyAnita. I will talk to the Dr again today about what you've told me. I'm sure it will help.

Hugs,

Jan

[January]

Thank you Inkblot. You've given me hope. Maybe this old mind will relearn some things. I had planned on having my PhD by this point in my life. Now I'm happy just to find the 'fridge without ending up in the closet! (absolutely true)

Hugs,

Jan

[January]

Thank you Spaz. I am vey glad you are here for me.

Hugs,

Jan

[Dolfin]

Jan,

My heart goes out to you and you are in my prayers **huge hugs**

I am with kathy on this one; insist on the testing from your doc. And yes, the brain is an amazing thing; you can get most of your capabilities back with the proper diagnosis and therapy. I watched my great aunt come back from the brink of the convalescent home after her stroke to only having a visiting nurse stop by and check on her twice a day. Although it was a hard road for her to travel, she fought her way back, and I know that you will do the same.

Keep us posted and know I've got my pom-poms waving for ya!

{{{{{{{{{{Jan}}}}}}}}}}

Jenn

Jan, Jan, ((((((((((((((((((((Jan))))))))))))))))))))

I don't even have to tell you how much I care. You are never one to simply put up with. Your friendship and support here warrants so much more than just merely putting up with you. Hun, I am here for you anytime, day or night and you know that. It sounds like the advise Kathy, Inky, and Jenn offered is sound advise and I'm glad you are taking it. Take care of yourself Jan. Love ya. Good to see you posting.

Ry

[SweetCrusader]

Jan,

This must be so hard to work with every day in your life! I can't imagine.

Everyone here has disabilities that influence how we live in the world in different ways. Nobody here should be impatient with your struggles.

I'm glad you let us know what's going on with you, so that we can understand It was brave of you to share this.

Best wishes to you,
Angela

[T_MD]

Make sure you ask for "neuropsych" testing, not the usual "personality testing". These are tests that PhD's with special training (called neuropsychologists) do. The average PhD psychologist dosen't have neuropsych training designed to explore the type of brain damage you have suffered. The reasons doctors keep asking how long you were out is that there is a direct correlation with the amount of time knocked out and the amount of brain damage incurred. Sometimes psychiatrists can help with medicine if you have explosive anger or depression from head trauma. Neuropsychologists can also recommend occupational therapists to help you with rehab.

[January]

Dol,

Thank you so much for your support. When the subject comes up, I always tell people I am a survivor. I'm very proud of that, because I wouldn't be on this Earth if I hadn't struggled. So I promise you I will work very hard to overcome this.

Thank you so much.

Jan

[January]

Ry, Ry, Ry. (lol)

You always have my back. You listen when I'm down and laugh with me when I'm up. You try to help me get through things I don't understand anymore. You are my constant friend, and that means so much.

Thank you,

Jan

[January]

Angela,

Thank you for telling me it was brave to post about my problems. It was really scary.

Thank you for your support and kind words. They have touched me.

Jan

[January]

Hi T,

Finally I understand why the docs keep wanting to know how long I was unconscious. If someone had just explained it, it would have kept me from thinking they were obsessed with it.

Unfortunately, there are only two nueropsychs here and neither will accept my insurance. Can you tell me what kind of rehab they would give me? Do you know of anything I could do at home to help myself?

You're so nice and I appreciate your help so very much.

Jan