[Kiya]

Last night I’d had all I could tolerate of sitting alone in my deep depression and drove self to psych ER. 90 minutes and two alter switches later, I left never having been seen, went to a mall, and got my ears pierced (a second time) just before closing. Had therapy today and left bereft.
Tonight I called her back to safety plan. Guess where I’m supposed to be right now? Yup. Psych ER. I think I agreed to that around 6:30. It’s now 8pm. T got an agreement from the same 3 selves, but guess which is keeping us home? The one who choose the piercings
I see t tomorrow at 11. Idea was for me to stay the night in there and not get admitted, then see her. I also see my PNP tomorrow afternoon.

[DelusionsDaily]

Hey there Kiya,

I haven’t been on a whole lot. How are you now? I hope that despite not going to psych ER you are able to be ok/safe until T tomorrow. Hope T is helping.

[Kiya]

Every day has been touch and go. T had me “explore” some “compounded grief” until I couldn’t take any more sobbing and asked her to change topics.
I saw PNP who increased my anti d. I am finally a bit better tonight. Earlier today I was safety planning with a SW about possible sub q (a step down from hospital but still a locked facility) or respite (a step down from that and not locked). But I couldn’t decide.
I did put some things in place- who would take care of my cat and where.
I’ve not been to sub q... for now I think I am ok. It helps having a plan in place. Though, I’m afraid the weekend will come and I won’t be able to access my team from Friday- Monday.

[possum220]

Respite sounds like a good idea dear one. Let somebody else do the cooking.

[Kiya]

I finally asked for help from my mom. We ran errands, got food, washed dishes together, and she made me up some hard boiled eggs. Then cut up 90% of my veggies so much can make soup today. She also took home a load of my laundry to do, and will pick up some cat food for me.
It’s hard to ask for help but I’m glad I did.

[possum220]

So pleased that you reached out and got some practical help from your Mom. Nice to hear that she can give something back to you. Soup is good and warming. Clean clothes are also good.

Now for a funny dvd/movies to use as a distraction.

[Kiya]

Friday and Sat went pretty well- got a lot done, even if my mood wasn’t on par.
Today has hit a big lull. Moody grumpy 😡 starting to act spontaneous; want to just get in the car and drive. Passes all have snow, I don’t have chains or even extra clothes or food to take. Don’t feel like getting stuck on greyhound.
Got dress d angrily took an Ativan and am sitting here. Nearly out of gas. These morning da just keep getting worse.