Dearest Dogs

Sorry.. Found another cute dog thing when I was looking for the doggy Christmas rules in my saved files.

Dearest Dogs -

When I say "move", it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two dogs in the way.

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain MY food.

Please note, placing a paw in the middle of my plate and food does not stake
a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically
pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about
this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort.

Look at videos of dogs sleeping; they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not
necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest
extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having
tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some
miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary
to claw, whine, and try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years; canine attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me and then go smell the other dog's butt. I cannot
stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

Sincerely-

Your Human

Very cute!!! Thanks for posting!

This is great! I love things like this...my dogs sooooo do these things!

ha ha this made my morning Thanks for sharing.

adorable! It made me laugh and I needed a good laugh! I have four dogs and this couldn't be any more truthful, especially the part about the bathroom door.

I wonder what it means that my CATS do these things!?