[Melmo]

I have tried everything, restricting, letting myself eat whatever in moderation and everything in between. I just end up eating until I am STUFFED. I have pretty much stopped bingeing, happens here and there but it's rare that I will absolutely stuff myself until I feel like I will throw up, which I used to do a lot.
I feel like I just need to accept that I am going to be overweight and unhealthy for the rest of my life. I did lose 75 lbs after my daughter was born 3 years ago (from the time she was born, to just about her first birthday) but now I am stuck at 30lbs overweight because I then started bingeing and overeating.
Just needed to vent, I'm sure a lot of other people are in the same boat as me Do I just need to accept myself the way I am?

[spondiferous]

I think acceptance is part of it. For me it's not enough to say I eat too much, which I do. Like you, I eat until I'm stuffed every single time. I have also come to learn that I have a sort of allergic reaction to food. I have been using it for so long for pleasure and comfort rather than nutrition that my body no longer reacts normally to it. I am in the process of recovery right now. It's a long and winding road. I empathize with you.

[Inedible]

Food is the side effect, not the problem. It is filling in for something else, which you really want more. If you knew what it was and how to get it, you would do it and then you could just eat for hunger or to enjoy the taste. For now food is filling in as a substitute.

Short term, do you have someone you can trust to help portion out meals and snacks for you? Maybe someone who can help keep you motivated for some regular exercise?

Long term, you probably need to find what it is that is missing from your life. This isn't easy. Usually this is being kept from you by that place in the back of your own mind. Because part of you thinks it isn't safe to even know what it is that is missing. Usually it involves love, joy, and meaningful connections with other people. Usually it gives you a sense of purpose, and genuine healthy pride. These would be good things, but they can look dangerous at first. We're not talking about the part of your mind that can make reasonable decisions based on the facts in evidence. It is that place in the back of your mind which keeps you going over and over the same old patterns, and it thinks it is doing it for your own good. It is hard to fight that part of yourself and win. When you do win, the victory is often short term and followed by reversals. This is what people are talking about when they talk about parenting your own inner child. It is about getting that place in the back of your mind to get unstuck and move on, so you can have what you really need.

And your body represents your subconscious mind. The thoughts and emotions and anything you say out loud that you direct toward your body are going straight to that place in the back of your mind. That part remembers everything. Mindfulness training is a good start. If you start by seeing the choices you are making more clearly, and why, it is easier to stop and choose again.

[kptclutch]

Originally Posted by Inedible

Food is the side effect, not the problem. It is filling in for something else, which you really want more. If you knew what it was and how to get it, you would do it and then you could just eat for hunger or to enjoy the taste. For now food is filling in as a substitute.

Short term, do you have someone you can trust to help portion out meals and snacks for you? Maybe someone who can help keep you motivated for some regular exercise?

Long term, you probably need to find what it is that is missing from your life. This isn't easy. Usually this is being kept from you by that place in the back of your own mind. Because part of you thinks it isn't safe to even know what it is that is missing. Usually it involves love, joy, and meaningful connections with other people. Usually it gives you a sense of purpose, and genuine healthy pride. These would be good things, but they can look dangerous at first. We're not talking about the part of your mind that can make reasonable decisions based on the facts in evidence. It is that place in the back of your mind which keeps you going over and over the same old patterns, and it thinks it is doing it for your own good. It is hard to fight that part of yourself and win. When you do win, the victory is often short term and followed by reversals. This is what people are talking about when they talk about parenting your own inner child. It is about getting that place in the back of your mind to get unstuck and move on, so you can have what you really need.

And your body represents your subconscious mind. The thoughts and emotions and anything you say out loud that you direct toward your body are going straight to that place in the back of your mind. That part remembers everything. Mindfulness training is a good start. If you start by seeing the choices you are making more clearly, and why, it is easier to stop and choose again.

Very wise words reside in this post and I couldn't agree with them more. I think my food issues are related to me being so alone, but a negative body image keeps me from trying to make connections with others....I feel like I'm never good enough. Even after losing 120+ pounds, I can't see anyone accepting me for who I am. i feel they will only judge me for the deformities of my body.

This is my cycle: lonely; eat. Not good enough to resolve loneliness; eat. Repeat.

Things tend to get worse when I finally get the courage to try and tame my social life, especially if I've managed to meet a girl. I see this as a chance to break the cycle, so I become desperate and escalate things between us too quickly. Girl rejects me....jump start food cycle *1000000 warp speed.

Woah, sorry for hijacking the thread....your post tugged some strings inedible. Thanks for that.

[kptclutch]

Originally Posted by JustWantToBeNormal

I have tried everything, restricting, letting myself eat whatever in moderation and everything in between. I just end up eating until I am STUFFED. I have pretty much stopped bingeing, happens here and there but it's rare that I will absolutely stuff myself until I feel like I will throw up, which I used to do a lot.
I feel like I just need to accept that I am going to be overweight and unhealthy for the rest of my life. I did lose 75 lbs after my daughter was born 3 years ago (from the time she was born, to just about her first birthday) but now I am stuck at 30lbs overweight because I then started bingeing and overeating.
Just needed to vent, I'm sure a lot of other people are in the same boat as me Do I just need to accept myself the way I am?

I've tried to accept my attraction/relationship with food as a life-long war that's fought in battles. Some battles are won, others are lost. It is the culmination of these battles that define this part of our personality.

You can stand and fight it, knowing it'll never end, and be proud you have the strength to fight the good fight and possibly win the war. 75 pounds lost is amazing (I've lost 120+, so I know the strength it takes....), so I, and many others, believe in you. You've proven you have the strength to take action....so do it and continue to inspire others.

And if you find a way to fix this, let me know. I wanna read your war journal and learn the way!

[ShaggyChic_1201]

I'm taking this from the bulimiahelp.org website. I know you're not bulimic, but structured eating may just help you anyway.

Structured eating is defined as:
Eating 3 meals and at least 2 snacks each day allows us to move from chaotic eating to mechanical eating. This means: eating at set times, whether you're hungry or not. Most people with bulimia do not believe they can eat 3 normal meals and be a normal weight, but you can. By doing so you can help to combat many of the physical and mental symptoms associated with bulimia, including binging and purging!

Structured eating guidelines to success

• Eat 3 meals and at least 2 snacks daily
• Eat at least every 3-4 hours
• In the beginning practice "mechanical eating." This means to eat your meals at predetermined times, whether you are hungry or not.
• Normalizing eating behavior can reduce obsessive thoughts, anxiety and depression
• Expect to feel anxious or stressed doing this. Doing anything new is a challenge and challenges can be stressful
• In the beginning, don't eat too much at once if your body isn't used to that. Small meals are easier to eat and will make you feel less full
• Plan out tomorrow's meals tonight. This can decrease anxiety
• Monitor your eating carefully
• Stick only to foods you feel safe with for the first month
• Stick to alloted times - despite cravings/ hunger - if you are hungry please eat!
• At first, focus on eating at the right times, rather than what you eat
• Make resuming normal eating habits your first priority

[Melmo]

Originally Posted by bubsmiley

I'm taking this from the bulimiahelp.org website. I know you're not bulimic, but structured eating may just help you anyway.

Structured eating is defined as:
Eating 3 meals and at least 2 snacks each day allows us to move from chaotic eating to mechanical eating. This means: eating at set times, whether you're hungry or not. Most people with bulimia do not believe they can eat 3 normal meals and be a normal weight, but you can. By doing so you can help to combat many of the physical and mental symptoms associated with bulimia, including binging and purging!

Structured eating guidelines to success

• Eat 3 meals and at least 2 snacks daily
• Eat at least every 3-4 hours
• In the beginning practice "mechanical eating." This means to eat your meals at predetermined times, whether you are hungry or not.
• Normalizing eating behavior can reduce obsessive thoughts, anxiety and depression
• Expect to feel anxious or stressed doing this. Doing anything new is a challenge and challenges can be stressful
• In the beginning, don't eat too much at once if your body isn't used to that. Small meals are easier to eat and will make you feel less full
• Plan out tomorrow's meals tonight. This can decrease anxiety
• Monitor your eating carefully
• Stick only to foods you feel safe with for the first month
• Stick to alloted times - despite cravings/ hunger - if you are hungry please eat!
• At first, focus on eating at the right times, rather than what you eat
• Make resuming normal eating habits your first priority

Thanks for this, I will definitely try these tips.
My biggest problem is when I am at work. I usually start working at 8am so I get up at 6am and eat around 6:30 or so and leave the house just after 7 to get my daughter to daycare and catch the bus to work. I get a lunch break at 11am, (And am STARVING by then) then work until 2 or 4pm, depending on the day. If I am only working until 2, no problem but if I work until 4, I am STARVING by then and about ready to eat my arm off. I tried protein powder to mix with almond milk to drink which worked GREAT...but I was having a bad reaction to it because I found out I am lactose intolerant and there is dairy in the powder. Dairy free protein powder is too expensive. I have tried buying orange juice from work to drink but that isn't all that filling.

[Azza123]

Originally Posted by JustWantToBeNormal

I have tried everything, restricting, letting myself eat whatever in moderation and everything in between. I just end up eating until I am STUFFED. I have pretty much stopped bingeing, happens here and there but it's rare that I will absolutely stuff myself until I feel like I will throw up, which I used to do a lot.
I feel like I just need to accept that I am going to be overweight and unhealthy for the rest of my life. I did lose 75 lbs after my daughter was born 3 years ago (from the time she was born, to just about her first birthday) but now I am stuck at 30lbs overweight because I then started bingeing and overeating.
Just needed to vent, I'm sure a lot of other people are in the same boat as me Do I just need to accept myself the way I am?

I really feel what you are saying, and I am feeling like that at the moment too. I feel like it is a hopeless case for me. I was, well still am seeing a naturopath who advised me to eat and snack regularly, lots of protein and good foods. I generally eat well, but often eat compulsively if bad foods are around. But I haven't really gotten anywhere, a bit up and down, but in four months have lost about 3kgs.

When I'm feeling down all willpower goes out the window and I eat anything and everything. I feel like the next step is totally restricting my diet, doing the small and regular meals. And cutting out all my bad/trigger foods totally.

I wish you all the best, and even though I don't take this advice, be good to yourself.

[Inedible]

There are studies about how glucose is the fuel that the brain uses for willpower. There are tablets of glucose for people with diabetes, for when their blood sugar is too low and needs to be corrected. Regular sugar is sucrose, which is broken down into glucose and fructose. It takes time for this to happen. In the studies on willpower, participants were given drinks sweetened with glucose. The tablets are more portable and they can help to boost your own willpower. It is probably a good idea to check with the pharmacist, though, to make sure that this would be a good plan. I don't really know. I actually went with hoodia tablets for a while. It is used for weight loss. My problem was that where I was working at the time, I wasn't allowed to bring in my own food and store it in my work area. There was a room with vending machines and there was only junk foods in them and soda. I was eating way too many of those little bags of chips, and drinking far too much soda. The hoodia helped me to avoid the cravings for junk food long enough to break the habit. It ended up saving me money, even with the cost of the hoodia.

[sunsetsunrise]

Some amazing answers here. Good to read them all. Along with your original post !! I think it must be very hard to plan ahead because you have a child to care for !

There are some good protein powders on the market that have no dairy in them. Do you have a health food store near you? Someone there may know of some. If not, I can tell you about a couple of them. I asked at my health food store. But it would be best if you could have a good discussion with smoene locally so you know they sell the product.

I personllly do not eat many foods. Because once i eat them I crave them. So I stay away from most starches. I do not eat sugary foods in any form. Including maple, honey etc. I do not eat wheat or similar grains. Nor do I eat potatos. It is much easier to not have them as part of my life. Just like an alcoholic cannot have a drink.

I keep my diet to low carbs and low calorie. This is what works best for me. Having said that, there is a longing and pain that never goes away. Its very painful to have a compulsive eating disorder. Even one that i am keeping under control. The pain and constant threat of falling off the wagon, the longing for foods I know i cannot have is strong. The fear of food.

I sm not sure how much of this is physilogical and how much is psychological. Professionals might take a guess. But I do not believe anyone really kows, in my case.

I hope that something I said in this post that went on woefully too long, can be of help. I am sending very best to you and to all who posted such thoughtful replies !!