[librakitty]

Hello all,

This is my first post here. I am hoping to give and receive support for those of us struggling with binge eating. I've struggled with eating disorders for many years. I grew up with disordered eating and was scarred by cruel and shame-inducing comments by adults about my body/ appearance as a child. I was not fat but a healthy, vivacious and athletic child who unfortunately encountered some unkind adults-I know it may sound silly coming from a grown 31 yr old woman but those words inflicted pain and sparked a problem within me surrounding food Needless to say I initially developed bulimia in highschool, then moved onto restriction, over exercising, then binging. My binge eating has gotten progressively worse over the past 6 years and I've gained a substantial amount of weight. I have tried everything-intuitive eating, not counting calories, low carb, vegetarian, high protein, fad diets like weight watchers, atkins, the zone (not knocking on them, just naming some I tried), juicing, and even over eaters anonymous...I am addicted to food. I have talked with therapists in the past and it's not helped...perhaps I wasn't in the right mental place or with the right counselor? I even looked into out patient treatment facilities like the Renfrew center but I don't have a job now and without insurance, I can't afford the treatment.

I hate that I isolate myself and lose myself to food. I know it's cost me relationships and affected my desire to be social. I am a bright, vibrant and loving person yet I struggle with this demon. Do we ever get over this affliction? I want to change my behavior so very much....some days I do better than others but then when I get triggered I fall right back into my pattern. How do you all overcome your deep urge to binge?

I know so very much about nutrition and I KNOW it's not healthy to binge frequently on sweets, chocolate and highly sugary foods. As I'm sure you all understand it's one thing to know that intellectually and another to change your behavior when the need for that "fix" is overwhelming...I find binge eating has become an unhealthy form of self soothing and I wish with all my heart that I can overcome it. If anyone has any words of wisdom or suggestions, I am open to anything. Thank you all for taking the time to read this and I wish you health, happiness, and peace.

[sunsetsunrise]

hi. I am sorry that you were made to feel so bad about your body when you were young. I do not think its at all strange that this resulted in a long term eating disorder. I think that this is the root of many eds. And body dysmorphia. Which often without treatment, does not wane with years.

EDs are so very painful. Excruciating and exhausting as far as I am concerned. I do think there is help. But finding the right help for it is what I call a "grace". We can look and search and try all different things. Then one day the right treatment is there. So please stay hopeful.

I can tell you how I deal with my sweet addiction. I eat no sugar. Nor do I eat honey, agave etc. I limit myself to stevia. Not the truvia that is in stores. That stuff is very manipulated and likely is not healthy at all. I buy my stevia at the health food store. It is the only source of sweet that I will allow myself to have. I also keep my unhealthy carb count low. I am not talking about brown rice or quiona. I am talking about wheat pasta, corn chips, potato chips etc. They make me crave food. I think that different people have their trigger foods. i just make sure to try to stay away from those trigger foods for me. does it make things easy, not at all. But for me it does make a difference. The urge to binge is still there for sure. But when I can keep my foods very healthy then it feels much easier.

Thank you for your kind wishes. i wish you the same. health happiness, peace and relief from this ed that you have tried so hard to deal with for so many years. ps, in full disclosure, I am currently grappling with low fat low cal hot chotolate addiction. Oh yes. Serious stuff because it is making me physically sick. So perhaps I should not be advising anyone, lol.

[bipolar gemini]

i just wanted to say that i know how you feel. i binge and purge and even though i know nutrition and was a physical trainer once, it's still something i struggle with. I'll eat healthy during the day and then night comes and all my sugar/junk food cravings comes, and all my good work during the day goes away. then i feel so guilty, i make myself throw up, which i know isn't the answer. i hate looking in the mirror, getting dressed and having to go out and be social. it's an irrational fear but one that is very real.
I don't have the answer, other than sometimes when i have the energy, working out seems to temporarily help.
Just know you're not alone and this is a good place for support. so welcome.