[Detia]

Once I stopped being a picky child, I absolutely loved trying new foods. I also grew up with a delight for meals and being able to go out to eat. A lot of happy times are associated with gathering around food.

Then dietary restrictions hit. First lactose intolerance.

Then IBS hit (or whatever it is, idk, I just know that my guts hurt depending on what I eat)

I started binging. I've had a habit of self-harm I've been tryign to kick since I was little. I found myself eating and eating right before bed. I was also afraid of starving, hated going to bed hungry. Things were tough at home, never enough money or food that didn't hurt. It seemed like the pain could never go away.

I even ate things with cheese or milk on purpose, unable to stop myself even though I knew I was full.

Then I read 'Intuitive Eating' by Evelyn Tribole and learned a lot about managing healthy relationships with food and eating disorders.

I learned cutting out gluten really helps with the IBS.

A week or two ago I got really hungry. Nothing gluten free was left in my apartment, attempts to get roommates to cross over our diets so that the house has friendlier and healthier foods has not happened.

I find myself eating other people's food in the fridge and I try not to. I eat what I can. I eat what I shouldn't. They made cupcakes and cake not long ago. I ate 4 cupcakes in an hour, and I was hiding it.

.....Is this a development from the history of self-harm? I didn't know self-harm could turn into an eating disorder. Do I have an eating disorder?

How do you cope?

What do I do?

Originally Posted by Detia

Once I stopped being a picky child, I absolutely loved trying new foods. I also grew up with a delight for meals and being able to go out to eat. A lot of happy times are associated with gathering around food.

Then dietary restrictions hit. First lactose intolerance.

Then IBS hit (or whatever it is, idk, I just know that my guts hurt depending on what I eat)

I started binging. I've had a habit of self-harm I've been tryign to kick since I was little. I found myself eating and eating right before bed. I was also afraid of starving, hated going to bed hungry. Things were tough at home, never enough money or food that didn't hurt. It seemed like the pain could never go away.

I even ate things with cheese or milk on purpose, unable to stop myself even though I knew I was full.

Then I read 'Intuitive Eating' by Evelyn Tribole and learned a lot about managing healthy relationships with food and eating disorders.

I learned cutting out gluten really helps with the IBS.

A week or two ago I got really hungry. Nothing gluten free was left in my apartment, attempts to get roommates to cross over our diets so that the house has friendlier and healthier foods has not happened.

I find myself eating other people's food in the fridge and I try not to. I eat what I can. I eat what I shouldn't. They made cupcakes and cake not long ago. I ate 4 cupcakes in an hour, and I was hiding it.

.....Is this a development from the history of self-harm? I didn't know self-harm could turn into an eating disorder. Do I have an eating disorder?

How do you cope?

What do I do?

Well, Detia, I'm no expert. But this certainly sounds like you're developing an eating disorder. And I don't know of any reason why self-harm couldn't turn into an eating disorder especially when you were self-harming with food to begin with. You may have been developing an eating disorder for over a longer period of time than you even realize.

The expert on eating disorders is Kati Morton. Kati is a therapist in California & she has a special interest in eating disorders & self-harm. Kati has a YouTube channel. She also has her own website (katimorton.com) She's on Facebook & Twitter & probably some other sites as well.

If you don't have a therapist in real life, I would strongly suggest you get one. You might also see if there is an eating disorders program near you where you could be evaluated. One eating disorders program I'm familiar with is: The Emily Program. But I'm sure there are others as well.

In the meantime, check out Kati Morton's website & her YouTube channel. I think you'll find it helpful. I subscribe to Kati's YouTube channel. So, if you prefer, let me know. I can post a link to one or more of her videos here in your post on PC. My best wishes to you...