[dave2413]

So I'm 31 and in a (really) happy relationship, we have a nice place to live, no real debts or overheads and my job is ok..not the best not the worst. I have no history of anxiety, depression or any other mental health disorder but for the last few years, and especially for he last 4-5 months, I've had a real problem binge eating.

My partner (who doesn't know about this problem) and I plan our meals for the week, have a good balance of relatively healthy but enjoyable food, good portion sizes and treat ourselves occasionally to sweet stuff.

With all of this though I'm secretly gorging on massively unhealthy food on a regular basis (about once to twice daily). I make plans the day before of what I want to eat and how I can get it (for example, if we need something from the store I'll volunteer to drive and get it so I can buy unhealthy food at the same time and eat it in the car on the way home) and it's really getting out of control.

For example, yesterday we had three good meals (nutritionally balanced) and a couple of healthy-ish snacks in between (nuts and fruit) and I felt satisfied and full, but whilst she was at work I went to the store and bought two chocolate eclairs, two cupcakes, some ice cream and southern fried chicken (8 pieces). I then came home and ate this although I was already full and felt awful afterwards, so much so I vomited. Later on (when my partner was at home) after we finished dinner I made an excuse to go to the store and bought what we needed along with some chocolate, another cake and stopped at McDonald's for fries and mozzarella dippers.

This is in one day and is currently not out of the ordinary. I have no desire (hunger wise) to eat, I'm always full after the meals we eat and satisfied with the food we cook but cannot stop this awful circle. I do not have the money to spend like this on a daily basis and have seen my weight increase by approx 30lbs in the last 4 months. I feel lethargic, short of breath and, basically, very fat. I try to have days where I cut this out and it works for maybe 1-2 but then I just fall back into the same cycle again.

I've never been super healthy with food and have always had a sweet tooth but it's previously been balanced with a good home diet, gym and sports.

If anyone can offer suggestions to help or if anyone has been in a similar position then I'd hugely appreciate any help. I've never spoken about this with anyone, I'm hugely embarrassed by it and know that I'm destroying my body and health by doing so. Thanks so much to anyone that's read this, all the best to everyone here

[TaintedLove]

I can relate to what you are going through. I'll eat normal sized meals throughout the day but have a tendency to ask stop at McDonald's in the morning on my way to work and on my way home from work. It's financially taxing be terrible for my health. I can't seem to get out of this cycle. I'm never hungry anymore - always full but still looking for food. My partner doesn't know about my eating to the fullest extent. I have brought up to her food addiction but she always shrugs it off and doesn't really listen. Do you have someone you could talk to, maybe a therapist or supportive friend? I just started talking to my therapist about it last week.

[dave2413]

Originally Posted by TaintedLove

I can relate to what you are going through. I'll eat normal sized meals throughout the day but have a tendency to ask stop at McDonald's in the morning on my way to work and on my way home from work. It's financially taxing be terrible for my health. I can't seem to get out of this cycle. I'm never hungry anymore - always full but still looking for food. My partner doesn't know about my eating to the fullest extent. I have brought up to her food addiction but she always shrugs it off and doesn't really listen. Do you have someone you could talk to, maybe a therapist or supportive friend? I just started talking to my therapist about it last week.

Thanks so much for your message, it's nice to know other people here know how it feels to be in this position. I completely agree with people shrugging it off, my closest friends are gym/sport orientated and all in good shape, I've mentioned it to them before but they don't understand how a person could do that to themselves or how it can be classed as an addiction. I don't have a therapist but I have looked into it, whether something like CBT would help as well I'm not sure. Thank you though, I really appreciate you taking the time to write and hope you can beat this and the therapy works well for you. All the best