[mygremlin]

I am seeking advice about my son who is 17 years old. He has had depression now for a least 2 years. missed so much school that he got put in an alternatvie ed. He has had a lot of losses this year. best friend ran away another friend died of an asthma attack. OUr dog of 14 years just died ect. any way he is on lexapro and his doctor moved the dose down to 10mg. now he can not concentrate and is very depressed but he thinks it is wrong to be taken the drug. he will not communicate with us he just sits there. he has an appointment monday with the doctor and i am afraid he will refuse to go. He is too big for me to physically make him go and I need advice on what to do. this is tearing our faimly apart.

[wanttoheal]

(((((((((((mygrelmin)))))))))
Sorry to hear about your son. I have a son the same age and totally understand not being able to "make" them go to appts. I don't have an answer; I wish I did. All I can say is keep telling him you love him and that you are there for him. Unconditional love and support without nagging is the best route, in my opinion.

17 is a gray area age unfortunately. They are considered an adult in some areas, a minor in others. But, if he becomes suicidal, a call to 911 will get him help whether or not he wants to go. There are ways to get him there and while it's painful, at least he will be alive.

Wish I could say more to help. I wish the same for my son. Good luck to you and your family.

[Rhapsody]

((((((( HUGS )))))))) ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

I was going to say - MAKE HIM GO - while my sons would give me a argument over it if they did not wish to go - they would still go out of respect, just angry.
Maybe try telling him how much YOU love him and how much you are SCARED for him and his life... that you just want to help.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[sometimes]

It is good that you are concerned. Sometimes depression goes unnoticed. Mine did for a long time.

I don't know what you can do but i'll give it a punt.

Perhaps leave lying around on the fridge on on the table, pamplets about depression, ones that are aimed at young people. If he happens to pick one of these up and read it, he may think....geez this sounds like me....there are other people out there going through the same thing....maybe i should ask for help and take their advice.

If you have a whiteboard or chalk board, if not, maybe get one, a small one that you can hang up, you can use this to communicate with him, without being in his face, over-parenting or demanding that he open up. Try writing positive messages like "The strongest thing someone can do is to ask for help" or "A real man can cry and not feel ashamed" actually that may be a little corny, perhaps, "Tears are the outlet of the soul". He may think this is mushy, i'm not sure. But most likely he is a sensitive person, which is why he is depressed.

I really think this is good advice, my brother is like your son, he sits at the table and says barely anything. He doesn't want to cry, so he bottles it up or cuts on himself. It just shows he is senstive and perhaps hasn't had the best role model, no offence, for example his Dad. Sorry....is that you? Or are you his Mum? Anyway, every teenager has to learn how to express himself without being labelled a wimp, girl, cry-baby, geek, try-hard, or mummy's boy. I think that is what this is about.

[sometimes]

Sorry, i forgot to mention something.

Someone his age will be the best role model. Do you know any male of similar age or a little older who has had a mental illness? Perhaps you could ask him to get him to get in contact with your son, and they could go out bowling or to maccas or something to get to know each other a little. If he finds out that this person has had a mental illness they might form a friendship and he might open up to him.

Some organisations actually have a buddy system, where people who have been through mental illness and recovered, become mentors for those who are currently sick. (Isn't that beautiful?) Investigate this. You will have to be careful that he gets involved at his own will though, otherwise it will look like he is doing 'just another thing his parents want him to do'. To avoid this, let this person contact him, perhaps on a mobile, and make it look like a predominantly social thing, external to the family and you as parents.

[EJ711]

Dear My Gremlin,

Did the doctor lower the dosage of Lexapro after the losses or before? Either way, can't you call the doctor and give him an update on how the lower dosage has affected your son's ability to concentrate?

EJ

[MOMW]

I am sorry to hear about your son. My daughter finally asked for help and I took her to her primary car doctor who helped her get some help. My problem is that she was 19. They consider her an adult. I am now trying to piece together both our lives, but we are on the right road. Where your son is 17, I think I would say keep trying to get him to a doctor. I know this is draining and hard for you also. Keep your chin up and know there are others in your situation! My thoughts are with you!

[Lexicon78]

I don't know how the laws are in your state or country...but I know here in Pennsylvania we have this thing where if your son is a danger to himself or others you can sign a petition to make him get help, which usually means hospitalization.

It doesn't seem that your son is that severe but if he gets worse or you think he is a danger in any way and you are in the states I think you can do this. I think it's called a 302 petition or whatever.

Sorry that you have to see him this way and deal with this. You have my best wishes.