[_skylin_]

well, i finly did it. i told him tthat i undrrstood he wants 'his space'. but i dont want garbag. and i can't get his sistrs to clean THER rooms if i can't get the eldest to. SO, cood he 'meet me on my playing field' (we are big sportsfans heer) and simply pik up the garbag and the dishs. thats it. did it tthis morning.

why was that so darn hard? no iddea.

i gota go bak in to the onc. clinic tmoro to chek bloodwrrk, then ovr to primarry dr. for mono chek and strep test and to check out my spleen. Oct. 15 is sposed to be my 2yr remissn b-day. HEERS TO HOPE!

he has yet to do anytthng, he's ben on the 'puter all day. but we'll see. at leest tthe convo is done. and it wasnt a screemin mach, ya no? whew! he hasnt made a therpy appt yet tho. still wating for that. agen, heers to hope.

thank you all for yor support. truth. i'v ttalkd wtth my husband about tthe stuff i prrintd out. your ansrs. tthe only tthing he wwas concernd about is.........
when dos the line of all tthis become...enabling our son to continu down tthis self-destructiv path, ya no? and hrrtful to tthe rest of the famly? we dont want to do anytthng to hrrt HIM but at age 22, its gettng tuff to NOT draw a line somwher....to stop helpng him not do anytthng.

i kinda agree. i'm just tired tho. reely tired.

hugs all arownd. truth.

sara

[Perna]

Good luck on your blood tests. I have to have some of them in about 3 weeks, make sure my adrenal incidentaloma hasn't turned into something wicked.

Glad you got your "speech" over with your son so he should be clear as to what you want and now has the ball in his court. Have you thought yet what you're going to do if he doesn't pick up the ball? I think you should work on getting the girls to do their own picking up/cleaning of rooms as an individual thing, not based on whether your son is a good guy or not and helps out as he should. Everyone is individual and should have their own responsibilities in helping with the family's work. Does your son see your husband doing "chores?" I would think that might embarrass your son into helping, seeing him doing dishes, trash, or cleaning up after himself. My husband does his own laundry and fixes breakfast on weekends :-)

[_skylin_]

hi Perna, thanks ffor responding.
and yeh, you arre rite bout the girls shood do ther rooms regardless of whethr my eldest dos or not. reely, at 22.....and like i sed bfor, i'v not sed anythng til now caus of the PTSD but now this is about a yearrs wrrth of garbage, i reely need him to do it.

yeh, he sees my hubby do chores. unfortunatly, alot of em. i thnk al the kids expect us to 'do it all' and thats OUR faultt. whn i was going thru the treetmnts for brain tumrs, my hubby was wrrkng and holdin down tthe fort too. my 2 helpd out a bit. but not wwhat youd tthink.

wth a 22yr old (and he is the son i keep talkng about) and 4othr kids ranging in ages from 19 to 15, thay are expecctd todo ther own launddry and dishs and keep ther rooms trash-free. thats it. no 'famly' chores. i dont reely agree wth it. but nobody mows the lawn or cleens the bathroom or piks up tthe livng room wthout gettng paid. and thats my hubby. i thnk its rediculus. maybbe i'm wrrong. lol its not evn tthe point anywway. i wwas jus lettin ya no, htat all the kids DO see my hubby and i do stuff arownd our home. on wkends, my hubby turrns intto a 'short-ordr' cook, evrybody wants somthng diffrent, and thay get it. agen, rediculus. just make pancakes! he dos, somtimes. othr times, its 'i want scrambld eggs' i want an omelet' i want sosage' i want...... lololol thay are NOT neglectd.

GOOD LUCK on yor blood tests, sendin my biggest hopes, TRUTH! keep me postd! pm me if ya wwant.

sara