Support needed please

I am currently the caregiver of a dear friend. I think of her as my second mother. She has helped me through some very rough times in my life and has kept me from going down the wrong path more times than I can count. She's 67 and she has COPD, conjestive heart failure, and emphysema. She still has a sharp mind and a wonderful sense of humor. I am currently living with her and her husband. She's married in name only. The past few days she's had a hard time breathing and has felt not "quite right". Tonite she asked me to call rescue so that she could go to the hospital (it's quicker that way and she's on oxygen 24/7). I did what she asked and then I told her husband. He talked her out of going because he was worried about how much it would cost him. This isn't the first time this has happened. Before I came to live with and take care of her, she was in and out of the hospital numerous times. Her husband would leave her alone for hours at a time. She wasn't take her meds properly, nor was she eating.People would bring over food for her and her husband would eat it and not give any to her. Bottom line: he wants her to die so that he can inherit money. I didn't stand up to him tonite because I don't want to cause her any more conflict with him. Her and I are moving to a friend's condo (the friend had a stroke a year ago and is in a health care facility due to being paralized on left side). However she has been stalling to move over there. She told me that she didn't want me to find her dead one day. I just need someone to talk to about all of this because I suffer from clinical depression (I'm on meds) and my family and I don't communicate much. I don't really have any friends to lend support and I'm starting to feel very frustrated with the situation. If anyone can help please feel free to do so. You can answer here or email me at witchykitty37@aol.com. This woman is my best friend and when she crosses over it will tear me apart but I do know that she will be in a better place and will no longer be suffering. Thank you to anyone who answers this. I do pray everynite for her and our friend who had the stroke.

Hi gypsylace,

I'm really saddened that some people (the 'husband' in this case) can purposely aim to hurt someone or just let them suffer.

You are doing the right thing sticking by her, and encouraging her to move. But is there anyone else (e.g. carer / care facility, her friends or other relatives) who could help as well - just so you don't shoulder the responsibility all by yourself?

Good thoughts to you and your friend...

oh bless yor hart. (((((HUGS)))))

i took care of my dad for 8yrs, he had the same thngs. ephyssma, congestv hart failur, and COPD. it was a long slow painful process. i admire you ffor beingg scch a frend.

the wway , i tthnk, you can get yor frend to reely SEE, is to let her no that evn tho it will be difficult for you it will be evn wors for you to wory about her at the hands of this man wwho shood be takng care of her and is only abusingg her.

sweety, i'l bbe praying for you AND botth yor frends. ttruth.

hugs

sara

Thank you for your replies. I am happy to report that my friend did go to the hospital yesterday and received meds, etc. and came back home. She is doing better today. Also we should be moving soon (just her and myself)(hopefully this week depending on how she feels). It is frustrating to watch her struggle for breath and being so weak since before these illnesses she was such an active and vibrante individual. She did tell me that one reason why we haven't moved yet is because she was worried that I would be frightened if I found her dead. I let her know that it would sadden me beyond belief but that I know that when she does cross over she will be in a much better place and she'll no longer be suffering. That day will be bittersweet for me because I will miss her terribly but knowing that she will no longer be suffering will ease my heart. Thanks again for the responses. Please keep her and myself in your prayers. GOD bless you all!!

Laura

Thank you for your reply. I am happy to report that she did go to the ER yesterday and received meds, etc. They let her come back home. Hopefully this week her and I will be moving to another residence (depending on how she feels). She does have one brother who is living but he lives in Raleigh. Her son does call every day (He lives out of state) and he does what he can for her. I'm really the only one that she can depend on aside from her son. Please feel free to email me at witchykitty37@aol.com if you ever need to talk, etc. Please keep us in your prayers.
Thank you again. GOD bless you!!!

Laura

I am glad to hear that your friend is doing better.... Hang in there and do not let this mean old man have his way - for your friends life is of great value to both you and to God.

I am pleases to hear that YOU are taking such good care of another in need.... please be kind to your self and apply a little TLC, for you will need it to cont' on.


LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

Gypsy, this has got to be pretty tough on you! I'm just wondering if you can share your story with someone from an Elder Abuse agency?

Your friend isn't receiving the medical care she needs because her husband gets in your way and hers. That's not right!

I think the County offices would be the place to find the agency that deals with Elder Abuse.

Good luck and God bless you for doing this work!