31 year old daughter has me borderline depressed.

I have a 31 year old daughter, youngest of 3, that I just can't seem to help anymore and if I don't stop I'll be in full blown depression. I have had her to numerous therapists since she was a teen. She quit school at 16 and at that time she was a liar, thief and just a mean, angry teen and I had been taking her for help. Since then she is even meaner, says she has anxiety issues, she has stole from most of our friends and family, has no empathy, and gets angry at us if we don't trust her. She manipulates me with all her promises and how she sees the light and is a changed person. It's been 20 years of promises.

Her latest scam, two years ago, was calling people I didn't think she even knew, telling them her dad had been arrested and she was trying to raise bail money, stealing her sisters antique rings and stealing my friends wedding rings. She ended up in jail where I left her for three months. When she got out she really did seem different. She went to church, was confirmed, went to group meetings four times a week and she was fun to be around. Family warned me that she was just using me and to give her two years to see where she'd be when her probation was done. Well, sure enough, after two years meetings are no more, church is gone, and I know she only tells me and her therapist what we want to hear. Her anger is off the charts and she turns everything around to being everyone's fault but her own.

Now, two weeks before Christmas, I found out she stole my credit card last week and used it daily, if not three times a day, for stupid stuff, like pizza, cigs, nail polish, and if I hadn't discovered it missing she would have used it today. When confronted she said she felt bad when she was using it and felt bad when she stole it. I told her after 20 years I was done and all she felt bad about was that she'd be alone on Christmas. She's also been calling people asking for money again for her dad, she used the church for money, she uses everybody. She doesn't work, uses the system, I could go on and on.

But, now I'm in the dumps. I can barely get dressed, feel like a horrible mom and that I'm the one letting her down and afraid I won't see my granddaughter. Is there ever a time you can call it quits with your child to save yourself?

Sometimes we have to grab the oxygen mask, before we can save another.

It sounds as if you have done all that you can I am sure this is not a reflection on your mother hood. Your daughter is a grown woman now all you can do is be there for her - you can't live her life - you need to start looking after you