Question for caregivers...

Ways to deal with death and dying for a healthcare professional with a heart?

So, I'm fresh out of college and new to treating severely injured and critically ill patients who often don't make it. For the most part, I am able to remain sympathetic without my work having any lasting emotional impact. Usually, I go home from a shift and actually feel great about having helped people.

However, I must admit that every now and then (infrequently), something very sad happens or particularly disturbing happens. (I don't think details are necessary here. And if you work in healthcare as a nurse, doctor, transporter, hospice... you probably understand.)

My questions:
1. Do you have any tips for new workers about dealing with extremely sad or disturbing events?
2. Talking and learning is usually what makes me feel better about ANYTHING (not just this). Problem is I cannot talk due to confidentiality rules and risking having the appearance of lacking confidentiality. (Sometimes NOT understanding what is going on is the creepiest part of a situation and I just wish I understood.) If you've experienced a similar problem, what do you recommend?
3. While I'm sure that dealing with this kind of problem on an infrequent basis is common for those in similar industries, I'm not sure that a typical counselor/therapist is the right person to talk to. Is there a specific type of therapist you would recommend for talk therapy about particularly gruesome events?

I am an RN who worked ICU for a number of years. The staff I worked with were very supportive of one another. We used to call each other and talk things out. Very helpful since we knew where the other person was coming from.

Remember that frequently death is not pretty but it is natural. It also is not personal (to you).

'venting' is about how YOU feel, not about what happened to start that ball rolling. i find that venting is a good way to get some perspective, and that is always a relief.

Thanks but for the record, I didn't use the word "venting" and I'm leaning toward the idea that it doesn't fit what I was trying to express. Maybe I should have been more clear.

I think the word 'venting' is subjective, Joe. I understand what you're trying to say and I think what the poster said about venting was more in line with expressing feelings regarding what you're experiencing that is, as you put it, 'particularly gruesome'.

Ideally, talking to a co-worker who has more seniority would be the way to go, but sometimes, if you're new, it's hard to figure out how, or who to talk to. A therapist who specialized in grief or traumatic stress counselling might be helpful, given what I read is the rather unpredictible nature of certain unpleasent or sad things in your profession.

I work in the healthcare industry, and just want to remind you, as long as you are not discussing a patients name, or any other means of identifying them when you talk about the issue of care, injury or death, you have not violated any FDA guidelines nor HIPAA regs.

I admire what you do, and wish you well.