Are house rules helpful?

6 months ago my sister in law came to live with us. She has been diagnosed with "delusional disorder", but is in complete denial. We have taken her for complete medical evaluations (she is physically healthy) and have her under the care of a psychiatrist who prescribes Prozac and clonazepam. We will be going to our first NAMI support meeting this month and hopefully family to family classes starting next month. Her delusions are often related to the safety of her grown daughter (she must have contact with her multiple times a day) and money (she believes she is receiving a very large sum of money ( the source changes as needed). She has some odd twitches and tends to isolate herself when possible. She has not been able to get a job. This far we have limited our expectations. As times goes on though, I find myself getting resentful of the lack of privacy. She takes our mail from the mailbox, enters all rooms, rifles through spaces freely when she is looking for something. Would it be too stressful on her if I set some clear boundaries and house rules? I feel "mean" even asking such a question!

Hi Desperate, welcome to Psych Central. Sounds like you have a big role as a caregiver.

If you are dealing with someone that respects rules and abides by them, house rules are helpful.

If you are dealing with someone that hears you now and says yes then proceeds to break the rules in an hour, you might need to consider other options. A post office box or locked mailbox means only you collect mail.

Locks on private rooms could prevent inappropriate entry.

Rules about taking her meds and going to therapy as the grounds for living there are essential.

you are not mean asking this question. mentally ill people thrive on structure just as much as anybody else. you need to be attentive to your own needs when taking care of others or else you become resentful and angry. just because she is delusional doesnt mean she cant follow rules. it may be more difficult for her if her delusion conflicts with the rule, such as she may be getting the mail every day because she is looking for the money that is coming to her. but telling her certain spaces are off limits shouldnt conflict with her delusions. like she should have no reason to go into your bedroom. if she is looking for something, she can ask instead of searching for it on her own. having a family meeting to come up with solutions to this privacy matter would make it feel like she was part of making the rules rather than having them imposed upon her.

She seems to be the latter of the two scenarios. Thank you for the response. We had thought about these things, but have need afraid of hurting her feelings. I think we will have to initiate some of these changes for everyone's sake. I had no idea trying to help someone could come with so much personal emotional baggage :-(