[coyotee]

I'm married to a narcissist. Despite my own mental and emotional issues, I think I can actually deal with it. For the rest of my life. And I like the guy. He likes me too. But the one thing destroying everything is the way he spends our money. Basic necessities need to be met and we've lost three apartments because of he spends an enormous amount of money on himself. Any suggestions on how to deal with this? For our sake, and for his own. Our own parents individually bail us out. He goes to his, I go to mine. It's been 3 separation periods the past 2 years, we're in different states. I don't want him to wind up on the street one day. Although he'd be the best dressed homeless man out there.

[jelly-bean]

Your husband is not likely to change his spending habits any time soon. If you can get him into some counseling it might help him to see how he is behaving but other than that he is just going to be who he is and you will either accept it or go your own way.

[eskielover]

I ended up married 33 years to a person who had no concept of handling money (I had the accounting degree) & it was a constant battle & he couldn't learn how to handle financial issues.....after finally leaving him, I have finally realized that he not only has adult ADD, but asperger's so there was no emotional connection......

I'm going to be blunt with you....after all those years, the fighting with him about everything turned into an anger to the point I was seeing red everytime I had to deal with him. We lived in separate parts of the same house for the last 13 years before I left 7 years ago because we didn't have the money go get a divorce & he was a pain about dividing up anything.....so it wasn't until my mother died & being an only child I inherited EVERYTHING.....I was able to escape the bad marriage & basically I just escaped...moved 2100 miles away & left everything. He messed up with the IRS & we just got that resolved after 7 years of paying them & now I can finally get the divorce I've been wanting for sooooooo long.

You may like the guy now.....but I'm betting that it will turn into hate through the years & your life will become so miserable you will wonder why on earth did you ever get involved with him.

I felt so trapped for awhile that I even attempted suicide so many times because I thought it was the only way to get out of the life I felt trapped in. My life became hell once I no longer had my engineering career to escape into & stupidly I didn't excape out of the marriage while I could financially do it.....we had come to terms with it being nothing more than a business partnership as he kept telling me that 2 can live cheaper than 1 & I didn't have anyone else I would have ever considered getting married to in the first place.....after the hell I lived in, I will NOT be quick into ever getting married again for the rest of my life.

I don't forsee a good future for you...but that's based on my own personal experience.