[333maizie]

My ds will say he wants to die when he gets into a very bad mood and when on vacation and me, my husband and daughter wanted to go meet his cousins, but he didn't want to go and wanted someone to stay home with him, he said he wanted to kill himself when we wouldn't give in to him. When he does that I feel that he is manipulating us, but when he says it in the midst of his terrible moodiness, I feel that he really feels that way.

I am going to new drs and plan on changing his meds, but don't want to jump every time he says that either.

[Skeezyks]

Hello 333maizie: I believe that most people who study suicide & suicidal ideation would say that it is always important to take talk of suicide seriously. I have also read a number of books written by experts in the field of suicidology where it has been said that it is correct to ask the person, straight-out: "Are you thinking about trying to kill yourself?" You won't put the idea into the person's head. It's already there. And asking the question may just create the opportunity for the person to share what is going on in their minds. I wish you well with regard to this most difficult situation.

[hoping2smile]

I think Skeezyks has given you some very good advice. If he says that he is considering it then you need to follow up by contacting a professional and not leaving him alone. My daughter used to say this and although she did have some depression, the line was more of a manipulation. After talking with her T. Everyone had the agreement that a. she wouldn't say it unless she meant it and b. It was our job to act accordingly. We did end spending one very difficult day in a psych ward. But now she is a happy 23 year old who lives independently. You can't risk discounting it, however, those types on comments need to result in very serious conversations not "I say it so I get what I want and everyone will leave me alone." Hugs- parenting teenagers is a very hard job.

I would take it seriously but I would also firmly stress this is not a comment that he should say lightly.

I agree with everyone here in the sense that it definitely should be taken seriously. Especially with teenagers (and I speak from feeling that way at that age), it feels like life or death at the time. Regardless of whether he says it with 100% intent on follow through, it should be treated with the same level of importance.

Possible trigger:

At the same time, I also know a lady who will literally put pills in her mouth and threaten to swallow just so that her husband will back down in an argument. It's the most disgusting game of chicken I have ever seen. Her son literally doesn't bother to leave his room for threats like that anymore.

Best of luck!

[Mygrandjourney]

Originally Posted by 333maizie

My ds will say he wants to die when he gets into a very bad mood and when on vacation and me, my husband and daughter wanted to go meet his cousins, but he didn't want to go and wanted someone to stay home with him, he said he wanted to kill himself when we wouldn't give in to him. When he does that I feel that he is manipulating us, but when he says it in the midst of his terrible moodiness, I feel that he really feels that way.


I am going to new drs and plan on changing his meds, but don't want to jump every time he says that either.

Jumping to getting him to a professional for further assessment is what is required. If he is getting his way after saying this, it is reinforcing for him and he likely understands that he can use it to get his way. If you were to tell him, factually, that it bothers you to hear this and if he continues doing it, as his parent you are obliged to get him into to see a professional to make sure he is safe. A night at the Emergency Dept or Crisis Center of the local MH clinic will either keep him safe or make him think twice before pulling this again.

You should always take any threat seriously...this is your son, and whether he is saying it to manipulate you or because he means it there is something wrong... I was a suicidal 14 year old, I tried to tell my mum that I wasn't ok...she insisted it was a phase and bought me clothes and a DVD. 11 years, 3 attempts and 5 hospitalisations later I am finally getting somewhere (I think). But part of me can't help but wonder if things would have been different if my mum had just taken me seriously in the first place.. Maybe things wouldn't have got so bad