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#1
Dec 11, 2015, 03:02 PM
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My girlfriend has bipolar disorder and is in a major depression right now going on 2 weeks. Her communication has Ben getting less and less with me to now I only get one word replies to texts. She hasn't initiated any communication in 2 days now. I've been told to give her space by other people and I have been. I did send her roses today to hopefully help brighten her mood so hopefully that helps. So how much space do I give her? Thanks for reading
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 Skeezyks
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#2
Dec 11, 2015, 05:07 PM
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Hello harleyomaha: Boy... this is really difficult to judge. I presume she is not suicidal. If that were the case I would say... none... But assuming that is not the case, then my thought would be to just let her be the judge... just wait... When she's ready she'll contact you. In the meantime, I think you can continue to do little things just to let her know you care & that you're there for her whenever she's ready. The roses were wonderfully thoughtful. You can also just send an occasional text or e-mail or maybe a greeting card... stuff like that. Try to avoid coming off as "pushy". Just let her know that you care. Does that make sense? Hope so... Good luck!
__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
 Trippin2.0
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#3
Dec 11, 2015, 05:15 PM
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Quote:
Excellent advice. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha  |
| Skeezyks
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#4
Dec 11, 2015, 06:10 PM
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Quote:
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| Skeezyks
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#5
Dec 11, 2015, 07:15 PM
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Well she got the roses. But very emotionless all she said "Thanks, that wasn't necessary"
Guess I just keep giving space. Wish there was more I could do. |
| Skeezyks
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#6
Dec 11, 2015, 07:31 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
| harleyomaha
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#7
Dec 12, 2015, 11:31 AM
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So today she isn't even responding. I want to say something but should I? Would it be OK to say this?
"I know you are going through a tough time right now and I want to be there for you. Is there anything I can help you with? I miss you" |
| Skeezyks
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#8
Dec 12, 2015, 02:27 PM
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Hi harleyomaha: Sure... this sounds lovely... You may or may not get a response. And if you don't there may not be much you can do about it. But there's certainly no harm in trying... Good luck!
__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
| harleyomaha
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#9
Dec 14, 2015, 05:10 AM
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I think checking in with her is sweet. Maybe just ask if she needs some space? When I get depressed I just want to be alone.
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| harleyomaha
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#10
Dec 14, 2015, 07:58 PM
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Before you check in with her check in with you: are you sending her a message expecting a response? Would that make you feel better, more loved, important to her? If that is what you are after or "testing" with her: better not to send the message. Your chances of getting hurt or disappointed are high. If you do it will make you feel worse and is doubtful if your message makes her feel better. Depression has a way of shutting down the ability to process positive feelings coming from others.....at least this is what I learnt with my partner during his depression. Of course, it also helps to know someone cares but I have found that really caring about them getting better and caring about me feeling better with a depressed partner is a big difference. The former is a lot easier when you are emotionally more detached (hard to do when you love someone) and I am still mistaking the latter for the former today....I am not saying any of this is necessarily true for you. I an just giving some food for thought to sort through your conflicting feelings.
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