[HelgaDE]

I dunno if Im going thru my mania stage right now but Damn! This feeling is thee most good feeling that I've ever felt! I feel that I'm god... I start having such strong cravings of wanting to buy a gun, either 12 gauge shotgun or a AK47... thank god I dont have a FFL and I'm also glad that I would become disqualified as they do criminal and I think health background checks. I don't have a criminal history but a single misdemeador for carrying a deadly weapon. I had a butterfly knife on me at the time of my baker act, which i had confessed of the weapon to the police officer who had me cuffed at the Emergency room.

The scary part is that I really don't want to seek any help during my episode... I mean if you have such high self esteem... and you feel that you're self important... would you want to change that? Probably not. I get tired of feeling like im less important... this is the reason why I dont want to call up my local psychatric hospital about the incident... And having them send over the pig squad to take me back to the funny farm.

[Myzen]

Hi Helgade,

I think it's OK if you know how you feel and can curb your impulses, but there is a point in mania when we lose touch with ourselves, and that's when some bad things can happen.

It is a terrible irony, that we can feel well and not be well.

I would suggest that you tell someone how you are feeling just in case you slip in to full mania. Sorry to be a spoilsport!

Good thoughts, M

[HelgaDE]

Right now I've been up since 11AM EST of lastnight (It's 4:30AM EST now)... my mind is not SHUTTING down for the night... I feel like staying awake... but psychally im tired.

[PetulantWolf]

My T says if you do physical exercise then when your body slows down your brain comes down with it. Worth a shot...

[darkeyes]

It might benefit you, to give your pdoc a call and explain what you are feeling, this doesn't seem like this is something you can ride out with safe, good outcome, on your own.
Stay safe.

[HelgaDE]

darkeyes,
I dont have a Pdoc. I have a hard time trusting them. Why should I get rid of this feeling? Each time i have this episode I actually feel good about myself. I'm not putting myself down all the time. I even feel that i'm worth something.

[wi_fighter]

I think there has to be a healthy balance between feeling worthless and feeling an importance above all others, ESPECIALLY if those thoughts involve weapons.