[Debates From Hell]

<font color="#008800"> Well, this is really hard to explain. But I don't know what it is. Lots of times, i'd be thinking of something, like for example, say I was talking to my friend or something, and i want to tell him about how i ran through the woods and chased after turkeys [this isnt a great example but cant really think of anything right now, usually its not something like this, but something that happens thats normal] , ill want to tell him, but first ill think "Hmm...maybe I shouldnt tell him, cause then maybe he will think im crazy, but is that the good person or the bad person talking? It's probably the good person that wants me to say it, because if i say it , and my friend assumes im crazy, then he might rat me out and then im in deep %#@&#!, so, the bad person must want me to not let anyone know im crazy or anything, which seems pretty logical, since i know bad things will happen if someone finds out, so, ill have to take sides with the bad person and not say anything about it." that is something along the lines of what id think about/say. but its never when im directly talk ing to someone, but maybe just some random day ill be debating weather [sp?] to tell him or another friend about something i did or said or dreamed or whatever. about the whole "good person bad person" im not really sure what i mean, like, i kinda sorted things out in my head, and sometimes i need to know what to do, so i think about it and get complicated with it and in depth [usually more in depth than my example] with it, so in depth that sometimes i dont even remember what the orignal thing i was debating was. and ill have to take sides with the things [people]. usually i dont know what "side" im on, because i only know when im debating something. so basically, the bad thing never wants to let anyone know about my problems and things i do / things that happen, and the good thing wants me to confess and let everyone know and everything, but i think its lying, because the bad one assures me that everything will be horrible and things will happen and my life will be ruined if i tell anyone. which i agree. [contrary to what i said before, now it does seem like i am on the "bad things" side more often. so I have never told anyone, except my best friend, but thats cause hes the only person i trust with anything. [also, i dont think nessecerily that one things "good " and the other one is "bad", but thats just how i have to think of them as until maybe i can change what i call them, because i really dont know which is the one i should follow. But i am pretty much 100% which the "bad" one because i am afraid something will happen, and i know something will happen if i tell someone i know. [ i don't think they talk, but i'm not sure, i don't know if when i debate, it's just me talking, or them too] [also, i think a bout my future a lot, and there is pretty much 2 lives i can think of having when im older, ones way better then the other, so im not sure if that ties in with this, like the bad future is what the "bad" thing wants me to have, and if the "good" thing wants me to have the good life...[i can tell you the futures that are stuck in my head if you want too..] ] [and i have also been having really bad thoughts, very bad, maybe evn dangerous thoughts, that might be from the "bad" one, or even from the "good" one] So, I hope it wasn't Too confusing, but that's about it...I just wanted to kinda get it out and see if anyone wanted to tell me something.
[sorry for posting so much lately]
[and by the way, i could never remember, how do you spell weather? like, weather or not...thanks, heh]

Peace & Love,
Rat </font>

We all need to balance out our inner thinking and feeling process.... if one is out of sorts with the other, then we (the person) will never be pleased with our outward actions or thoughts.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> P.S. (RATHER)

Maybe you just want to be KNOWN and liked..accepted for who you are both good and bad?

What do you mean, Butterfly? I son't understand.