It's that simple. Just wondering if anyone knows about this... or yeah I don't know. Are they good matches?

[Big Mama]

hey, I have no idea about that one. It is probably not wise. We all need someone who is strong in areas we are weak. That doesn't sound like a wise combination. But who am I to decide that. Just my opinion. On the plus side I guess, you would have a lot of experience knowing how life is for another BPD. That would certainly make things easier.

[Solitudeisme]

I'd imagine its a lot down to the people involved, if dispite bpd they are loving, sensible and honest people, the bpd will just be like any other issue a couple has to deal with, so I wouldn't automatically assume it wouldnt work. As for the main point of your question, I'm guessing you mean is it something people find occurs without planning, that a bpd would be drawn to a bpd - or if they are, is it just coincidence?... Hopefully the peeps on here that live with being bpd can maybe shed some light on if that kind of pairing seems to be common or not.

Originally Posted by FERFA

It's that simple. Just wondering if anyone knows about this... or yeah I don't know. Are they good matches?

We seem to attract each other but h*ll no!! They feed off of each other's issues and become weirdly co-dependant on one another. They steal each other's identities and they constantly bring each other down. Been there, done that, and it's one of the reason's I'm here...

That's my perspective, I'm sure others have their own. I hope to never go through that again.

[MPD-AvPD-BPD]

I'm a BPD married to a possible NPD, and apart from the few times i do loose my mind, we cope very well.. (15 years together, but only recently have i started to let her know about it)

and this is where i'm now stuck... NPD is almost always just about me!!

Originally Posted by Anonymous32731

It's that simple. Just wondering if anyone knows about this... or yeah I don't know. Are they good matches?

As friends, yes they do seek each other out and they can form very good friendships.

As lovers, I wouldn't count on it. I mean, I really wouldn't try that. I have BPD, I'm in group therapy for BPDs only and that just honestly seems like a very, very bad idea to me (and, I'm sure, the other people in my group would agree). I feel like I need to emphasize these words even more, but I think I made my point now. Theoretically I guess it could work, but you can bet all your money that it just won't. With any other PD I think it could work.

[seriynochi]

Originally Posted by Anonymous32731

It's that simple. Just wondering if anyone knows about this... or yeah I don't know. Are they good matches?

I was in a romantic relationship with another borderline for 3-4yrs. Worst relationship I've ever been in - we fed off each other, triggered each other, etc. It was horrible. Would not recommend unless both parties are well into recovery.

I have a few friends who are borderline as well - we are all in different stages of our disorder. I distance myself sometimes when I don't want to ride along with their turbulence, if that makes sense. Boundaries are very important.

I don't think so. We happen to be talking together on this site because we are all here for support, but outside the forum world, I don't think anyone in their right mind looks for someone with a "disorder" in the first place. That would just be kind of asking for trouble whether I looked for someone with Bpd like me, or npd, ocd or anything else, that would be odd.

[wadingthruemotions]

Originally Posted by seriynochi

I was in a romantic relationship with another borderline for 3-4yrs. Worst relationship I've ever been in - we fed off each other, triggered each other, etc. It was horrible. Would not recommend unless both parties are well into recovery.

I have a few friends who are borderline as well - we are all in different stages of our disorder. I distance myself sometimes when I don't want to ride along with their turbulence, if that makes sense. Boundaries are very important.

I look back on a relationship I had now that if I knew I was BPD and he was as well at the time, I would have so kept my distance from it being intimate and personal. As friends, yes I have a few and it works. We are supportive when we need to be and understand each others' distances very well so we don't get all bent out of shape when we need it.

As intimate and personal, heck no will I ever do that again. In the same way above, we fed off each other to no end and we so triggered each other in the worst possible way. it could have gotten much worse in an intense way had I not realized something really terribly wrong was happening and that I needed to get out.

Hope this helps you.

No, I don't; but I can't speak for everyone else.

[Fuzzybear]