[Anonymous32445]

My life is stagnant, boring, and dull. I am fed up of being this way. It's like I'll never ever know any of the sources to my behaviour and problems. It's like I just have to accept it, which there is no way I will accept myself. Not a chance, I have to shittiest humour tastes ever, by far the WORST EVER. So bad it's just unbearable. It's because of that I can't laugh at a sitcom, stand up comedian, joke, anecdote, you name it. Everyone else can laugh, but me; but if I do, it's something that's so pathetic, stupid, childish and random it's nit even funny. I am unwilling to accept myself. I hate myself, I hate having to live with mild symptoms of blunted affect, and subconsciously refusing to move away from my comfort zone. I am stuck there all the time. I hate my boring life. I am insecure. I have no decent qualifications, like GCSEs. (Anyone from the UK, if you have good GCSEs at A-C and high A-level grades, I envy you) I hate the fact that I am working at BELOW entry level maths. I don't have a learning difficulty, before anyone mentions. I have autism but this has nothing to do with my maths. I hate my house, there is nothing positive in my life. I will not think positive, because there is nothing to be positive about. I strongly suspect to be narcissistic, I suffer from inferiority and superiority complex. I have to live at home, where it is shabby, old fashioned, vile and grim. I don't know anything about anything, I am not intelligent, I am naturally stupid. I suspect that struggle with outward expressions but I don't get irritated much. But my life is so rubbish. Help please.

[Anonymous32445]

I have never had full support for my condition, at all.

[Anonymous32445]

I am in need of replies....

[Anonymous32445]

I doubt my ability to even get through all of this. Will I even be able to life the life I would much rather have?

[Anonymous32445]

I have no social life, either.

[Anonymous32445]

No replies from anyone else? Sigh...

[Anonymous32445]

Ultimately, this means that I will never get a reply from anyone. Nice to know that others are going to get responses but me. Why do I never get a response from anyone!?

[Anonymous32445]

I just want someone to talk to. Ask the therapist doesn't work, either. I've asked stuff on there and had no reply AT ALL. Thanks Psychcentral.

[here today]

Sorry I haven't been around here much lately, DS. Been caught up in my own struggles and miseries.

It's for sure, you've got my vote, PD's are the pits. I think I may have found some hope recently, not sure, though. Reply if you're still checking this thread and I'll try to tell you what seems to be working for me if you want. Not sure it will help for you, of course.

[Anonymous32445]

Originally Posted by here today

Sorry I haven't been around here much lately, DS. Been caught up in my own struggles and miseries.

It's for sure, you've got my vote, PD's are the pits. I think I may have found some hope recently, not sure, though. Reply if you're still checking this thread and I'll try to tell you what seems to be working for me if you want. Not sure it will help for you, of course.

It's nice of you to comment on here, sure; tell me what's been happening with you? Btw, what does PD mean?

[here today]

Well, having someone to talk to has helped me, too, so I understand you wanting that. I use PD short for "personality disorder". Since you're posting in this forum, do you think you may have one?

I'm doing pretty OK at the moment, so go ahead and write some more, if you want. You can click on my username if you want to see some other posts I have on PC.

The hope I have is that finally, at long last, I think that I/therapy may have busted through some stuff so I can move forward. But it has taken me/therapy forever long.

Write about what's bothering you the worst and maybe I can help point you in helpful direction? Or just listen.

[AngelWolf3]

Oh, DS I did NOT see this post until today! Sometimes, I notice if someone posts in the main forum of a forum...(for example...Personality Place as opposed to...Borderline Personality Disorder..I chose that one as an example cause I post in the BPD forum...) that it doesn't get checked as often sometimes cause people go straight to the corresponding sub-forum. Did that make sense, I am sorry if it didn't. I am willing to listen too. I cannot believe I never saw your post before, I am on a lot during the weekdays in the mornings.

I don't know if I can help, but here is another pair of eyes to see if you are willing to post still.

[Anonymous32445]

At the moment, I'm not really in the mood to be typing out large amounts of text. But I'll do it later on soon. But what I will say for now is, I have been screwed over in terms of my education. I don't work at an adequate level of maths and my college is rather useless, I'm starting to question the integrity of the process of the support classes, I'm constantly being told "it's being sorted" and nothing but. As though there is a load of stuff getting in the way. These are for maths. I don't have a maths qualification. I am terrible at it; yes, a lot of people say this but I don't even know how to do my times tables, division, multiplication or subtraction in my head. I greatly envy those who are good at it, I think they are lucky because they have that education and I do not. I worry that I will end up being stuck at home for the rest of my life.

[AngelWolf3]

No worries about not feeling like typing a lot. I know that well! Since I am in US, I don't know what a maths qualification is, but I can relate to your math abilities description. I Have such an ISSUE with any type of math in my head, and even if I use a calculator, I end up screwing it up. I feel like an idiot sometimes...I hate making mistakes in the deposit for the day, etc, and having the finance person come point it out, and they are stupid mistakes. I just screw it up.

Thanks for replying. I am glad you are still on PC.

The Personality Place area, without going to a specific one, is not frequently traveled by most people. It's not that people don't care, it's that people don't come here often. I'm sorry you're having so many problems. Feel free to PM anytime.

[Anonymous32445]

It's becoming overwhelming now having to reply to so many people! I don't know what to say first to people. I'm so sorry!

[Anonymous32445]

Originally Posted by here today

Well, having someone to talk to has helped me, too, so I understand you wanting that. I use PD short for "personality disorder". Since you're posting in this forum, do you think you may have one?

I'm doing pretty OK at the moment, so go ahead and write some more, if you want. You can click on my username if you want to see some other posts I have on PC.

The hope I have is that finally, at long last, I think that I/therapy may have busted through some stuff so I can move forward. But it has taken me/therapy forever long.

Write about what's bothering you the worst and maybe I can help point you in helpful direction? Or just listen.

I'm getting that feeling of being overwhelmed, because I feel I need to reply quickly but there are so many notes I have made on my computer and don't know where to start.

[Anonymous32445]

I apologize to everyone.

[here today]

No need to apologize to me. I do the best I can here on PC – and I assume everybody else does, too. The best one can do at the time is the best one can do. We’re here mostly to support each other, IMHO, not criticize and nobody “owes” anybody else a reply. We do it in our own time, like it took a while for anybody to read your posts and decide whether or not to reply.

I read your post in Depression and I’m glad you have gone to the doctor to see about counseling. It has helped me, as I said. And it’s too bad that there is a waiting list, but I’ve read good things about the British NHS here on PC and elsewhere. I live in the US and there is no waiting list – but I’ve seen a lot of therapists who didn’t know how to recognize some complex issues with dissociation that I had going on, so I wasted a lot of my own time and money, causing me to beat up on myself even more.

I’m doing pretty OK now. Even good counseling takes a while, and you have to be proactive, sometimes, speaking up when you don’t think the therapist understands your difficulties. Maybe it will not seem so overwhelming if you just have one person to talk to and you don't have to reply to everybody? On the other hand, reply or write about something else when and if you want to here on PC. Good luck.

[Anonymous32445]

Originally Posted by here today

Sorry I haven't been around here much lately, DS. Been caught up in my own struggles and miseries.

It's for sure, you've got my vote, PD's are the pits. I think I may have found some hope recently, not sure, though. Reply if you're still checking this thread and I'll try to tell you what seems to be working for me if you want. Not sure it will help for you, of course.

Hi there

I'm still keeping an eye on these thread, please send me a PM to tell me about your experiences about how you've been able to cope and deal with making a change and how to do it.

[Anonymous32445]

Nothing's changed. It's May 22nd and I've not done anything whatsoever.

[here today]

I noticed that your location is the UK. Have you checked with your NHS?

Home - Personality disorder programme

From the website it looked like they may have a good program going over there -- it's kind of hit or miss here in the US. At least in my experience.

But there is hope.