[gupp]

My mother is in her 70's and has displayed many problems her whole life since I was young...now I'm 43. She fills bowls of water to wash her hands in...she is compulsive...she displays up and down personalities...rages...with physically putting her hand on me. Throws cat roughly off kitchen counter onto floor. I think recently she is taking something. My uncle said she is depressed. Well, I have a very very big problem and do not know what to do. I live with her...have a nothing job, so its not like I can move out. No boyfriend etc.. For years my mother abused us (father & me; verbally and little physical). She would always tell him she wished he were dead etc..always putting me in middle...I would always hide. Anyhow, here goes the latest; this is a real biggie: My father was going to leave my mother; divorce was expensive he said, he couldn't take it anymore; my father had started taking prevpac for stomach to prevent ulcers...she started giving him stale grapefruit juice which didn't go with medicine...and she knew he was allergic to penicillin & derivitives...which put him into hospital...I wasn't aware of medicine allergies. From there she brought him egg to hospital to eat...soon he was given many medicines...declined...eventually pneumonia...dehydration & malnutrition after nursing home...disaster all the way and he died. He suffered every side effect to every medicine. This happened couple of years ago. My father had his own life, separate bedrooms from mother most of life. Possibility of him being with prostitute, maybe having std. Anyhow he drank; he had a great time; until he came home for abuse. Ok, well, the whole time he is sick and he comes home with feeding tube for several years...in this time span my mother startes typing legal documents....then she is telling me she has to save the money from the company he is in partnership with twin brother...even though he is stated to have 3rd or so stage demensia...and was wearing velcro shoes; because he couldn't even tie a shoe.....she preps him and takes him to attorney; comes back and says: that went off without a hitch....even though his brain isn't working he signed right on the line. Nothing more said. Eventually I overhear her threatening him: Arthur sign the paper or I will ruin you and take everything you own...divorce you and ruin you. I do not remember if this was the time she was telling him: She is a traitor...meaning me....sign it Arthur Diane is a traitor...this went on for a hour....as I stood upstairs with tears in my eyes...he was crying saying: Di Di a traitor...no no I don't believe that. It was horrible....now presently I stumble across an individual trust...only mentioning me saying; they have one daughter...thats it. I remember my fathers living will & trust....and it said; something like....my mother Grantor for Beneficiary of Diane.........ME ME ME. So, its gets better....then what else did I find....a new will & living trust....this is the one she typed up....and get this it said something like: leaving everything to my darling wife....mentioning her. Something like that....and he hated her....he kept his bank accounts without her name on...just so she wouldn't get his money. Which by the way she had been signing over checks into her accounts before he went to nursing home. Then told me my uncle stole my fathers money. My uncle stole his insurance policy. There is much much more that has happened. I caught her on telephone saying: Diane I am trustee....then when I came downstairs...she quickly hung up. When my mother was having my father fill in the blanks on legal document in home....she made him put her birthdate on form...that was another time in 94 that his brain was not working. She even made the mistake of telling me his brain was not working in 94....I was in the room....he said, you mother wants me to do this and kept asking what to put in the blanks....telling me to tell you the truth I don't know what the F________I am doing. He said what is this d a t e....didn't even know what date meant. Help....I do not know what to do....she keeps saying sure you are still the beneficiary....even though she had told me recently that my father left me nothing....that was a clue to snoop....that is when I confirmed what I had seen earlier on in life. My father would never ever cut me out. He never wanted my mother to get anything. Gets better my uncle and father owned business...they had a trust which the property was in....which I have...my father hid it from her...mentions tenants in common; I think when one died other inherented...my mother managed to take this money; accusing my uncle of trying to steal my deceased fathers money. My father loved his twin brother...over life itself...she got it all. She was very jealous over brother and brothers family...every Thanksgiving and XMas he would leave and spend day, evening there with twin. Years and years of this...made me sad as little girl; I didn't understand...until later in life....seeing mothers rages etc...Ok, everybody tell me what I should do....remember I live at home with mother....no money....nothing job....then this thought comes to mind; what if she really did save this company money and the only way she could do that was to create other legal documents; even though my fathers brain wasn't working...even though she had to threaten him and make him sign and go to attorney....what if he left her really broke...even though I appear not to be included???? I know one thing I didn't receive a merry christmas from my uncle this year or cousin. I keep seeing the will and living trust saying me as beneficiary...she had told me: Diane be careful things are not as they seem. What is that supposed to mean?? I need to know what to do; time is going by; I have no brothers, sisters etc...to help me...I am alone...Maybe there is somebody who could check on all this to see if she is lying to me or not...she keeps dragging me to banks...then gives them new paperwork and takes old. What to do????

Have you contacted an attorney?

It seems like you have a choice to fight the will if you wish to. Speak with an attorney for your own peace of mind: the first visit is at no charge.

Also, if you don't feel safe living there, please contact your community's social services for help in becoming independent.

Best wishes to you.

ECHOES

[Perna]

I think you will outlive your mother and I think it will be hell for you inbetween (and perhaps after). Parents and their money is their problem, start working now to save what money you are making, open your own accounts and do what you can to prepare for your future. Your mother is up to no good or she would be more open and you would know what everyone's wishes are. It's hard to learn any "truth" second or third-hand as you're trying to do, listening on phones/in doorways, etc. Do what you can for yourself as it appears no one else is going to.

[gupp]

I have not been to Attorney; I cannot get myself to go...just want to cry thinking about it. I just can't. Yes, I am preparing for the future....full speed. I thank you for advise; I really appreciate it. Problem is without degrees at my age makes it really really rough...its like going backwards; and with no help. When you are alone; you are alone. Mother is sneaking around, plays games with me, and rages. I must now keep options open for finding a soulmate...that might give me another place to hang around at?? Maybe. Definitely foul play though on her part. Not her money though; deseased fathers monies. I am going to try to make up for lost time...wish me luck.

[Soidhonia]

Hello I hope things get better for you soon. You may be entitles to benefits from the local social agencies for food, and rent subsidies. Some social services (Jobs and Family Services agencies) have monies to help you go to school to help get a degree, and Metropolitan Housing can help you with rent, and you need to try to see a therapist and counselor to get a diagnosis and treatment for you depression. A Mental health case manager can help you with your housing and food needs, and you may be able to apply for disability if you qualify for disablity. There is much help out there sor you so that you do not have to do everything alone if you need more help feel free to PM me and I will try to help you if I can. take care sincerely Soidhonia