[razeljenny]

I recognize it when it comes on strong. It stays for long peroids of time and the only way out is tolal isolation and time spending by myself to force myself to do exercise or heavy housecleaning.

Can you out there identify this personality defect (we call it that because it can linger longer than average)

The fact that I got used to having the theripist every two weeks to speak with and she's been sick makes me slowed up alot and stuck in the loop.

It could kill me if I don't catch it. I stay home don't do a thing, sleep sleep and sleep as soon as some one visits I wish they would leave and then I sleep more and could sleep life aways for for a hundred years.

Diet helps but busting forth out of it would be the very best I can do, but I am stuck in the loop at this second. I am flattened affect and just coasting along with miserable looks on my face as if my cat died. No one can tell a joke to make me come out of it. I am stuck stuck stuck. I am stuck.

((razeljenny))

I don't know. I am exploring the idea that it is a defense.

But.. I don't like it when I a feel this way or in a foggy, dreamy, unresponsive state that I recognize but can't get out of. Grrrr!

I hope you feel better

[Perna]

When I'm in a state I don't like I do my Rutabaga Routine. The word, "rutabaga" always makes me smile, no matter what but the "routine" is not so much fun. I think of things I really really do not want to do (clean bathrooms?) and figure that since things can't get any worse, I might as well do them since I can't get in a worse mood. It's kind of along the lines of "when heck freezes over" and heck has frozen over. If you don't want visitors, I'd get visitors or if you don't want to go out, I'd go out; I wouldn't allow sleeping, etc. Eventually I get interested in something I do want to do/think about.

[razeljenny]

THANKS

the more i read from other borderlines, the more I realize i am borderline.

sorry you are in the loop. Im in it too right now. Perhaps we can share an umbrella?

[Frozen_Heart]

Raze, I haven't read through all the responses but you sure have capsulated me!

I have no sense of humor anymore. I objectively see my entire life as a failure. I hate to hear one shred of praise. 'I wonder why I sleep all day' I just think I'm better unconcious. (I can't spell, sorry, I didn't spell check)

Still, objectively, I know, you, I, mean something to someone. Our fog keeps us down. If you find a cure before I, please share cuz I'm not swimming anymore; I'm going down.

((hugs))

We can overcome!

[razeljenny]

Frozen Heart-I don't know how exactly, but I got out of the loop. So can you.

I had to jump into stuff uncomfortably. It really has been hurting but I am making motions a bit on the auto-poilet. So it does get better, even though it feels like jumping in a cold river.

I got some job interviews, went to Work Source and signed up for a couple of free classes.

Typed up a resume' (something I aint done in years) Sent and re-sent a appllication along with looked up my refeerences and transcript. (Anyway the trouble usualllly is that there is quitee a bit of leg work involved with doing the thing that is being put off. The loop occurs when one knows that oonly a new activity which involves some kind of transition happens.

The only concellation is this: There are no wrong moves I can do if I sincerely want to work in the direction of bettering the person I am. So what I say here is that you will harm not yoour self by doing things that you usually aren't prone to involve yourself in as long as it is in the nature of goodness. On the otheer handddd doing bad things, I do not recommend at all