[Charlietango94]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this thread and needed some advice. I've had quite a few stressful years but won't go into that, I was having counselling sessions a couple years back and she suggested I go back to my doctors as she thought I had bipolar disorder, I had already been diagnosed with depression and anxiety.

I've always been very tempremental, but I remember happy times just as well as the sad when I was younger. at the highest stress point in my life a couple years ago, i seem to have triggered something within myself that brought out a lot worse traits which I knew where there but could control them most of the time. I began to drink a lot, spend money unwisely (really not like me most of the time), sleep around (again extremely not like myself), I was very happy yet seemed to come crashing down at any moment then would go straight back up again, excited all the time yet very irritable and angry. Of course when I explained this to my counsellor she suggested going back to doctors as she thought it was bipolar disorder, I never did go back, stupid I know.

I'm confused though as I don't really believe it is, from those symptoms I've described above, it does sound like it but my mood doesn't last for months then I switch to a depressed state, no... My mood changes within minutes, which is what I mean by it comes crashing down.
I feel as if I am in a mixed state, I feel as if my hearts racing, and my mind is going extremely fast but I feel within myself depressed and suicidal. I was however drinking st this point, that may have had that affect??

At the moment a couple years after I felt like his, I do still have those days but not that bad, right now I just feel completely depressed, no racing thoughts, I do however feel suicidal and self harm just recently due to a lot of relationship issues going on and just not feeling myself or liking myself.

I have issues with needing to control things, I have an AWFUL temper where I tend to really lose it, especially with my partner, sometimes resulting in hitting him, I have an obsession over his past that is the main issue in our relationship, which results in obsessive thoughts as compulsive behaviour such as asking him questions 24/7 about his exs and his past relationships with women, I drive myself crazy, I sometimes feel it may be the abandonment issue but I'm not sure.

I'm sorry for the long post but I'd really appreciate some insight because I'm at the end of my tether and just really want to get better now. It's driving me crazy! Thank you in advice for any advice?

[Skeezyks]

Hello Charlietango94: Well... I'm certainly no expert when it comes to Bipolar Disorder, although it has been suggested in the past that I have it. One thing I do know is there are various forms of Bipolar Disorder. So it seems reasonable to me that what you are struggling with is, in fact, Bipolar. There are probably others, here on PC, who would be in a better position than I am to address this. Hopefully some of them will.

Beyond that, however, making a proper diagnosis is for mental health professionals... psychologists & psychiatrists. Anything any of us, here on PC, suggest is really just an opinion... a "shot in the dark", so to speak. So I would really like to recommend that you seek out a mental health professional to get an accurate diagnosis & appropriate treatment. I, of course, do not know how serious your relationship with your partner is. But one thing I do know is that it is difficult enough to maintain lasting relationships under the best of circumstances. When one, or both, of the parties to the relationship are having the kinds of struggles you're having, this just makes the whole thing that much worse. So if your relationship with your partner is something you value, you owe it to both your partner & yourself to seek help. My best wishes to you...