Existentialism and PD's

Although I am fond of Tolstoy as a writer, in real life he was a narcissist, and this doesn't exactly promote peace of mind, especially in old age.

I used to be really into Sartre and Schopenhauer, (I never really got into Heidegger, there was something always bagging me in the way it selected his environment but never acknowledged his specific position in his time/space, that was really privileged)

I would say that phenomenology and existentialism are not just negative but also a bit too self-absorbed. Lucretius was a nihilist as well and this attitude of -we are just atoms and void, and devoid of meaning- is somehow nice in a reflective way of looking at your life but I find it extremely non productive. If I had to go with a certain philosophy or ontology, I would go with Spinoza or the more contemporary Deleuze. At the end, we make up our own trajectories and meaning of life according to what our capacities are and what the environment affords us to do.

And for a productive approach on psychoanalysis and one that does not pin down symptoms to existing patterns/mental diseases I would read Deleuze's work with Guattari on schizoanalysis.

Ah , thank you for this.

Depression and rumination seem to go hand-in-hand, and after digging around a little to try to find a new meaningful philosophical or spiritual structure, I think one just has to get on with life. Depression seems to have reshaped my brain (chemically? existentially?) in such a way that I can turn the most inspiring anecdote on its side, and react by being snidely cynical. This is almost a personality change for me as although I was not a Pollyana I abhored sarcasm. I don't know if one can bounce back from such an experience. I don't like looking at life through a glass darkly. But people's actions seem duplicitous, or, at the least, so naive, it is difficult to be cheerful about the human condition. Depression seems a sharp lens. It sees truth. But...oh, how tiring!