[Humpty Dumpty]

I struggle with paranoia. I am always afraid that if I say too much about my depression and suicidal ideation that I will be locked up. I even have a hard time trusting my wife because I am worried she will some how have me committed. There have been times when I've left my house and not told her where I'm going because I didn't want her calling the police and having them forcibly commit me.
I can't even bring myself to goto a doctor for the help I know I need because of this.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Humpty Dumpty: I'm sorry you are having this difficulty. I will admit that I am afraid of everything. I pretty-much always have been. I don't know why. As a result, I have certainly struggled with my share of paranoia as well. Unfortunately I don't have any easy solutions to this problem for you. What happened with me, when I did not seek the help I knew I needed for my mental health struggles, was that I ended up trying to commit suicide (twice.) Then I was involuntarily committed to 2 different hospital psych wards. This pretty-much eliminated the need for me to try to overcome any paranoia I might have had regarding seeking mental health services.

Of course, I don't know how things work where you live. But, where I live, a person can only be involuntarily committed if they present an imminent danger to themselves or others. I think this is pretty-much an accepted standard across the U.S. at this point, as far as I know. I could be wrong about this. Perhaps you could check this out. Assuming that this is the standard where you live, if you knew it to be the case, it might help to alleviate your fears of being committed. (This assumes, of course, that you are not a danger to yourself or others. If you are, then a hospital is probably where you should be.) Also, you might consider starting with a therapist rather than a psychiatrist. Many people see therapists for all kinds of reasons. This might be a less scary way to ease yourself toward the services you need.

Anyway, I hope that you can find a way to work around your paranoia & obtain the mental health services you need. Not doing so is only likely to make things worse. I wish you well...

I have similar trust and paranoia problems. I play mind games, such as naming bands a thru z. Example: Aerosmith, beach boys, the cure, Neil Diamond, the Eagles... etc. And I keep repeating the alphabet till the feelings aren't overwhelming or obsessive. I first started having challenges at 21. By the time I hit 38, I finally hit rock bottom and sought out therapy, sobriety, a psych and medication. I've come along way since then, working again, saving money, returning to school but I still struggle with paranoia, delusional thinking, etc... I've found playing a happy, upbeat song continually for 4 hrs with headphones helpful.

[TishaBuv]

Find the courage to get the help you need even if it means exposing your dangerous thoughts. Left untreated, you might do worse.