[lil_bit]

Ugh. I have never been in extended therapy...and have thus never been diagnosed with anything. I study psychology, though, and I was rather afraid to stumble upon the fact that I may have BPD. Not only would it sum up most of my other "issues" (eating disorder, depression, anxiety...) but it would also explain my social behavior. Throughout my life I have always wondered what makes me so much more dependent on people. Like at every single second of my life there is at least one person (the "chosen" person for that period of my life) that I absolutely cannot live without. People know I'm "clingy"...and I know I am as well. I try so hard to not let these little things bother me but they drive me crazy! (as much as I hate using that word...it fits for me right now.) Last night I had a huge issue...that I suppose is now leading to a very huge fight with my best friend. I cannot live without him...I don't know how to do this. that's initially what brought my BPD suspicions to light...I need help dealing with this but I feel so alone

[Rapunzel]

Well, you might be right. Another possibility is dependent personality disorder. Also keep in mind that most people have some of the symptoms of most of the personality disorders. And also, most people could improve their social skills from learning what is taught in DBT too. What it comes down to is how much problem do your symptoms create in your life? And do you want to change any of that? Are you interested in improving your relationships and relationship skills, or in learning to be more autonomous? If so, then it's worth talking to a therapist about it, whether or not you have a personality disorder.

Would you like to tell us more about what happened with your friend? Maybe we can help.

TC,
Rap

[lil_bit]

I wish someone could help. I'm so lost and confused I don't even know what to do. It was nothing really....at least I didn't think so. We were stressed at work, he yelled, I yelled...about a sentence each. I had a migraine so the noise was killing me so I walked out of work....that's it. that's all that happened. no name calling, no insults, no rude comments...just two moody people and now he's deleting me from his life and I can't take it.

[Rapunzel]

Okay, well stress happens, and healthy relationships include some fighting. It doesn't sound excessive from what you wrote here. What do you mean by "deleting me from his life?" If he's not willing to talk it out and make up, then either he was looking for an excuse to get out, or whatever was said was probably too sensitive for him to tolerate.

[lil_bit]

the picture i'm painting here is shallow...meh it's hard to tell a life story. and "deleting me" is something he does to people sometimes. When something like this happens and it affects him, he reduces the hurt on himself by getting rid of people. he literally deletes them...out of his IM programs, phone, myspace, etc. Then he gradually forgets them. He did answer the phone when I called...maybe that's a step...I"m trying SO hard to just step back and take it one day at a time. it's killing me but i know i have to...he needs space and I need to force myself to give him space even though it's the most difficult thing for me to do. I just don't deal well with even the smallest things...I freak out and can't handle it...like I was earlier and I'm struggling to avoid doing now. and I thank you so much for just talking with me...no one else would...

[Kiya]

there's some good books out on BPD if you don't want to go to therapy yet.
Kiya

[Rapunzel]

Hmm, I wonder if he has BPD or something simular. Your reaction to him is one thing, but his practice of deleting people from his life sounds like his issue. I'm glad he answered the phone. Yeah, take it slowly and see what happens. Pushing things might push him away, while showing that you still care and won't forget him that easily may be good for both of you.

TC,
Rap

[pachyderm]

I agree with Kiya that there are some good books. One thing they let you know is that you are not alone.