[circles5]

Hello,
I've been painfully aware recently that my mum has deep seated issues beyond anxiety,
One of the hallmarks of my suspicion arise from her pathological inability to accept criticism.

Now, there could be other reasons for this alone; She was raised by a Narcissistic mother and was the 'scape goat' in her family.
She then married my father who is without question; a narcissist, a very sadistic, malignant one..

So i can understand her having enough of criticism after a lifes' worth of it.
--
--

So far as i've read, it appears to me that NPD + BPD are the two personality disorders that are associated most with the inability to accept criticism.
My mother is completely different to my dad, and i can't even entertain the thought that i have two narcissistic parents..
So i'm looking for other explanations.

I'm convinced she has a personality disorder.
I think that; because it's so ingrained into her way of being and she's been like this since i have memories - so its pervasive,
It's also destructive to her and to everyone around her.

I don't know what to do. I'm still reeling from the realisation my father is a narcissist nine years later. I just want to know why my mum behaves the way she does, i might be able to help her - or at least i'll know whether i can trust her or not.
I don't want to cut her out of my life, she's the only member of my immediate family who may not be a narcissist.. i want to keep her in my life, but i need her to seek help - which she simply won't for reasons she will not disclose to me.
So thats why i'm trying to figure it out myself.

[here today]

Is it possible that your mum could be "codependent"? That's kind of the opposite, in a way, of a narcissist -- the person's value, and even their sense of self, come from other people's valuations and from fulfilling THEIR needs and what they want. I was kind of like that.

I've been in a lot of therapy, much of it ineffective or even harmful. I've come to the conclusion that what I had was a kind of disorder of "narcissism", just not NPD as defined in the DSM. There is so much oversimplistic hype, IMO, about narcissism these days. Disorders of the sense of self are very complicated, and few therapists really know how or what to do to help, has been my experience.

So if you mum isn't interested in therapy is there anything that you can do yourself to feel more comfortable in trying to get along with her? Accept her flaw that she is unable to accept criticism? Then -- how can you relate to her given that?