[Sloofiesad]

So, as of about a month ago I started seeing a psychologist. I feel very nervous when I'm around him, but that's nothing new, I feel that way around a lot of people. His diagnosis for me was Major depression with a 2 episodes as well as dysthemic disorder. For some reason I'm not sure if that's accurate. For instance: I was proposed to on Mother's Day, I said yes, no crying (yet, I'm usually a VERY emotional person). I'm scared to tell anyone that I'm engaged, even my mother. I'm not sure why this is. My coworker saw my ring and congratulated me, and acted so excited, but I thought to myself, why am I not so excited about this like I should be. Aren't all women excited about marriage? I want to be able to be excited for things, but for some reason it's like it's not possible. Why am I holding back the emotions that I should be letting loose?

[MyBestKids2]

I'm not a doctor and can't reply. Sorry your having a hard time though

(((sloofiesad))))

Having a flat affect or loss of emotional expression are DEFINTELY part of depression.

If you are not comfortable with your current p-doc, try looking for another one. The diagnosis may or may not change, but your comfort level might. However, since you have just started seeing him, you might give it some time as it takes awhile to form a working relationship.

[PsyChris]

Talk to your psychologist and see how important the diagnosis is to them. For many psychologists the diagnosis is just a requirement of insurance companies so they can get paid. It is also a legal requirement in many states.

Obviously we can't really know if his/her diagnosis is correct based on one paragraph you have posted here. It certianly sounds like you are describing dysthmia (chronic depression). I'm sure there is evidence for a Major Depressive Episode as well. Like I said the diagnosis isn't important. The treatment is.

[Rapunzel]

Sloofie, how do you actually feel about marrying this guy? I don't know enough to know whether your diagnosis is correct, but it strikes me that one possibility may be you feel ambivalent about this marriage. That could be because of depression, but could also be part of why you are feeling like you are.

I was never excited about marriage. I was depressed when he proposed, and felt like I had no other options. I was depressed pretty much my whole life. I went through the motions for a lot of years. We're still together after 18 years, but not really happy, and I wish I had known back then that I had other choices. I don't know if this has relevance for you or not, but I hope you work with your therapist and tell him what you are feeling, not feeling, etc., explore your life options at this point, and figure out whether this is really something you want to do. I know you're nervous about talking to the T. I was too. I was in therapy at that point in my life too, and didn't talk about what I needed to, and didn't get the help that I needed. You can work this out though.