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#1
Jul 19, 2008, 09:34 AM
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Oh how I hate this legacy from my adoptive mother. How I use to sit alone and watch everyone else laughing and having fun but to afraid to join in because they weren't special and we were. Unyet behind the specialness laid coldness and aggression and bitterness and intolarence and grandiositys and no love, not interest in the inner worlds of each other, no support,...to this day I find it hard to feel "part off" because of this speicalness that my adoptive mother spoke off. My mind was split in two, what I saw with my eyes, ie, people being kind and supportive with each other outside of my home, had to be destroyed, I had to find something that was wrong wtih that...its only now that I feel that my specialness is being punched bit by bit, I have to glide down to meet "ordinariness" gently, and each time my feet touch the ground for a short while I realise that "ordinariness" is a great place to be, specialness is a cold and lonely place to be...the psyche split is healing I think at last...even though at times the fear takes my breath away and I have to run back to my balloon.
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Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
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#2
Jul 19, 2008, 01:46 PM
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Hi Mouse,
I havent spoken directly to you before, (well, this being bounced off a satelite or something, -- relatively directly!), but I often read your posts, and I've wanted to ask, - I can hear the insights you are getting, do you know what orientation your T. is? I'd like to know, I have been doing a lot of reading and exploring myself and getting various insights too. I get that my mum had that 'special' thing, the results of it were disasterous IMO. Although, at times they showed through in a sort of tragi-comic way. In her 90's she was losing her memory, I took her for an assessment with a psychologist who asked her to put an envelope in a drawer and then remember where she'd put it a few moments later, my mum complained with haughty disdain that it was too BORING! for her to remember. She said that word boring in this plummy accent that she had as if she was almost vomiting the word! So, yeah, having that kind of thing going on in ones background really doesnt help one to stay in cool, comfortable reality, ... its all in the footwork I guess, but actually, I've never sensed anything very distancing or haughty about your sharing...  river
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"Strong passions are the precious raw materials of sanctity" Fulton Sheen |
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#3
Jul 19, 2008, 01:53 PM
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HI River, Yes my T works psychoanalytically, and yes I know that haughty disdain, mum use to have a certain look come over also...yuk makes me cringe just thinking about it. Thanks for noticing my shares!
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Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
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#4
Jul 19, 2008, 02:35 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Mouse_ said: ... and yes I know that haughty disdain, mum use to have a certain look come over also...yuk makes me cringe just thinking about it. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> "Haughty Distain", UGH.... My Dad had that look too... and the N. ex had a 'posture' to go along with it.... makes me nauseous to remember that look and how it made me feel. So glad it's not 'present' in my life now!
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"It is what it is." 
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#5
Jul 20, 2008, 08:00 AM
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Haughty Disdain -- an attempt to cover up anxiety and uncertainty, and make it appear that it is due to you!
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Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
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#6
Jul 20, 2008, 08:15 AM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pachyderm said: Haughty Disdain -- an attempt to cover up anxiety and uncertainty, and make it appear that it is due to you! </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> (((((((((Pachy)))))))) thank you for this lightbulb moment!   VoN
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"It is what it is."
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#7
Jul 20, 2008, 06:14 PM
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Yeah, I thought so, but what I was wondering was is she a 'self psychologist', which is what is called the Ts who follow Kohut, all, of course being sort of in general. From what I gather the analytic community have within them distinctly different threads. Kohut sort of humanised the previously rather cold and po faced analysis appraoch from what i\ have understood,..............??
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"Strong passions are the precious raw materials of sanctity" Fulton Sheen |
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#8
Jul 21, 2008, 02:03 PM
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I'm not sure which "thread" she adopts. I've never asked, I know she doesn't have one Kohut book on shelfs but has winnicott, jung, freud, and a few others..I think she just brings herself to the room...she can be very poo faced at times but she can also radiate warmth...whatever she subscribes too its working so I dont worry about the "details" to much as the work is inbetween them...
__________________
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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