What is wrong with me?

I am not even sure if this will make sense to anyone. Hell, it doesn't even make sense to me...

I am 22 years old, but there are times (more often than I care to admit) when I feel like
I am a little girl... scared, alone, confused, just wants someone to hold her and rock her
and tell her everything is gonna be ok, wants to curl up in a ball and hide from the world...

It's hard to explain, but it feels like sometimes that I am actually thinking in a little girl mentality again, and that I am her.
As weird as this sounds, sometimes I get an urge to suck my thumb like a baby. What the hell is wrong with me? That can't be normal.

its not too uncommon around here actually ((Manda)))) it seems like some parts of ourselves break off and do different jobs for us when we have a surprising or unexplainable event happen to us... our inner self is a sensitive being.. shock and surprise happen quickly and our minds dont always have enough time to process all the incoming... at that point a part of ourselves might slip away to a different, safer area where all this isnt happening... its like that part of us stays hidden and small for years and we dont seem to notice...

the little girl is you, another aspect of your protected inner self...

im a grown male and i have to tell you... some of the stuff ive seen and see makes me want to do just what you feel like doing at times... and other stuff too..

i couldnt let myself stay shattered and paralyzed after my son and i separated.. in his name it was time to do something, be somebody...

not everyone has to do something or be something if they dont want to...
but the memories come when we see something or smell something or think something thats somehow connected to that original event..

and harder for us, waiting a long time to look at those thoughts and fears adds more stuff to it, like a bridge with one beam missing, the upper wieght of the heavy locomotive eventually collapses our bridges from the ground upwards, leaving us feeling pretty unstable for awhile..

thankfully a lot of research has been done for us.... check out some of the posts in the various forums, see which ones you can relate to and jump in at some point... the kindness at PC is incomparable and i dont go other places.. we have the best right here !

You have a wonderful self-awareness for your young age. Are you in therapy where these kinds of feelings can be explored and understood better?

no... I have no means of paying for therapy.

Manda, all of us who have/had emotional issues didn't develop emotionally beyond a child because of our upbringing, at least in certain aspects. I finished this up as an adult. You can contact United Way or your local mental health government agency to see about affordable therapy.

Can you talk with little Manda, let her draw, write?

Ah, Manda honey, I'm 51 and I still feel like that sometimes.
Actually I think the best thing about being the age I am is that I don't worry too much about being "immature" because of feeling this way sometimes; I've taken to going to bed with a collection of stuffed toys again!
Although there are times when I "want my mummy" and of course mine isn;t around anymore (not that I could always rely on her) and I find it difficult to accept a substitute.
Talk to little Manda; she sounds scared & lonely. Perhaps you can comfort her?