[jbug]

I made an email addy called secret_santa1971 which I was going to make anyway because I'm in a secret santa swap on my scrapbooking site and needed a secret email address to send cards to my secret santa receipent. Well I went and did something STUPID!!!!

I sent Rex..my best guy friend whom I am not so secretly in love with an email saying that a cheap Christmas present would be for him to say he would date me. How stupid of me to do this. I should have known better. I signed it secret santa and just said a little birdie told me that I would like this for Christmas. He is going to find out it was me that sent it, get all mad and run away. Why oh why do I do these things?

Jbug

[Rapunzel]

How do you know he is going to react that way? Maybe he will think it's cute. What cognitive distortions can you identify in this post, Jbug? Maybe it will be fine. Maybe it will get your desire for a relationship out into the open so that it has a chance of happening. And maybe if he doesn't want that kind of relationship, it will still be good to talk about what you want, what he wants, and come together about what kind of relationship both of you do want to have. I can see the potential for a lot of good outcomes from this, if you think it through and plan your next moves wisely.

[Greg77733]

Hey Junebug, I am a guy and if I had feeling for someone, but I didn't act on it, what you did would be the perfect ice breaker. It will also give you too something to laugh about. I think it will work it's way out. I know what you are feeling though. You do something that turns out to be a litttle silly then you frat till you see it's ok. The second have is the bpd thing, I think the first is you want to get closer so you did something. It is better to do something then nothing. I hope this helps.

[jbug]

Originally Posted by Greg77733

Hey Junebug, I am a guy and if I had feeling for someone, but I didn't act on it, what you did would be the perfect ice breaker. It will also give you too something to laugh about. I think it will work it's way out. I know what you are feeling though. You do something that turns out to be a litttle silly then you frat till you see it's ok. The second have is the bpd thing, I think the first is you want to get closer so you did something. It is better to do something then nothing. I hope this helps.

Thanks for this

[Perna]

You can't hurt anything telling someone how you feel. If he "gets mad and runs" then he wasn't/isn't there anyway and you know more about the kind of guy he is. It's not like you can control him, make him do that or keep him from doing it by your own thoughts/actions.

[jbug]

I have talked with him a few times since I sent the email and he acted wierd once and I got all freaked out but figured out that he was just tired from work and then I talked to him yesterday and today and he hasn't mentioned it and I for sure am not going to mention it to him.

I know he has checked his email cuz when I talked to him tonight that is what he was doing.

So we will see what happens.

Jbug